My Guy

-He draws me a bubble bath then sits on the toilet pooping while I try to relax. He says its aromatherapy.

-He slowly lifts his leg every time he farts to ensure I can smell it. He calls it sharing.

-He makes me mad when the house is messy because he knows I clean when I am upset. He says he is helping me to be productive.

-When I doze off in the car he yells me name very loud and fast. I always sit straight up in a panic. He says he just wants to spend time with me while he’s driving.

-He always manages to remember he needs water or his medication right after I sit down. He says he didn’t notice me climbing onto the couch.

-He will touch me with limp hands and speak in a syrupy voice when he knows it creeps me out. He’s been doing it for 20 years.

-He tells stories and ends them with I can’t remember where I heard it He heard it from me every time.

-He asks for enchiladas when I have been talking about roast chicken all day. He says he likes to keep me on my toes.

On the flip side,

-He gets up and takes the kids to school by himself on the mornings I just want to sleep. He knows I love to sleep.

-He tells me I am beautiful even when I didn’t bother to get out of my jammies. He always knows the day I needed to hear it the most.

-He always makes sure we have a date night. He even remembers the weeks I completely forget.

-He started making dinner in the crockpot because he knows making dinner is something I dread.

-He is the greatest father to our children. Now that we have a granddaughter I see he is the greatest one of those as well.

- He sat here with me as I wrote this. He laughed at every single thing I called him on. We started out laughing together and have never stopped.