Could it be requited now?

I wrote the piece in the picture in June of 2020. I know it’s a risk to document this, for if/when heartbreak comes this post will be hard to look back on. But I’ve chosen the risk of getting my heart broken, so I may as well risk this.

For three years, with some gaps in between, I’ve had a crush on him. Three years of pining, of wondering whether or not he likes me or is interested in me.

In August of this year, I met him for coffee. Asked him out myself. It wasn’t romantic or dreamy or anything, and it was nice but boring. There was a lot of quiet moments. Both of us were uncomfortable. Probably. I know I was I literally had no idea what to expect. I hoped it was just an off day for the both of us.

There was no progression for a few weeks. I got Covid in September which makes it hard to ask people out socially, and I was hoping he would ask me to do something next. I prefer the traditional way, guy asks the girl, but modern problems (I want to see him again and he’s not asking me) require modern solutions (I ask him if he’s interested in doing something together again).

So October rolled around and we made plans to take a walk in the park. The day of choice was cold and windy and it rained lightly a few times, even had some hail, but it was so nice to spend time with him. It wasn’t as cold as I thought it would be and we walked at least three miles. Spent a couple hours together. He seemed more comfortable around me this time, and I would say the same about myself.

He picked me up and when we’re on the way to my house, he asked me if I liked scary movies —I don’t, not anymore— but he asked because he wanted to see one with me. Then the day after I was planning to message him after work or something to tell him I had a nice time, but he messaged me asking about going out for Mexican food next week. The plans are tentative at the moment, but we’ll see if it’s possible.

I think it’s possible he might like me which is wild to think about. It’s wild that I get to spend time with him at all.