excerpt from a story

i imagine myself a ship in the night with no lighthouse, a wondrous catastrophe. my life, like the long night, looms in front of me. is it three miles to shore or a hundred? catastrophe looms, yet i can only write snippets of the same story.

the story always starts the same: there's a buzzing in my ears quite like a ship in the distance. if i listen too closely, i float away and if i float away, i die. in this story, i don’t fear death. it will be wonderful. when my body dies, i wake up. 10 years old again. my name…sadie this time. nothing bad ever happens to sadie. she is the captain of the ship buzzing in my ears. yes, i do not fear death. for when i die, sadie lives, a new girl.