grief

these days i fear i am more grief than girl. i am late january snow pouring temporary solutions over the constant sorrow. i live in fear. will i have to watch everything i love fall away as the leaves do in autumn? will i be left to weather the winter of my life alone? i do not want to live without my family. i cannot afford such a fate. instead of bracing to catch my death, i dream. i dream of spring, the time when everyone is young and no one knows that death lurks in the corner. i try to dream that no one dies. and yet, i know better than to dream of a day where everyone lives. all i ever want is hope and all i’ll ever have is knowledge.