Impatient

"Becca Waits"

began one summer afternoon in the back alley behind Robertson St., in Los Angeles, California, where I was taking a break from my bike ride.(No, I'm wasn't in it for the health aspect, it was actually my transportation.)

I had been in L.A. for about 4 years by then, purely by accident. My better other and I had left San Diego, enroute to San Francisco, and kinda got stuck in L.A.

My story is gritty, I won't get into all the details now, but I had lost my amazing 19 year old son to suicide 6 years back, and I wasn't in the best shape.

Life was hard.

I dealt with it desperately, through any means that could soothe me the slightest bit.

I remember sitting on a brick wall, behind some cafe,

And i was gazing up at the sky,

And I felt a hope,

Almost like a magic,

rising in me.

And I took out my journal that a friend has just bequeathed to me, and I started writing.

I started writing about pain,

turning into purpose. I started writing about a girl waiting,

with all the odds against her; a girl in a dark place.

This girl was waiting for the woman in her to take hold,

To rise up from the ashes,

into the Self she was meant to become.

Burst forth like a glorious Phoenix, and do amazing things, transform lives of those hurting all around her.

It was a beautiful, ethereal, epic poem.

It has not ended yet.

Since that day, I write in other formats, but there is an occasional sprinkle, sometimes a burst, of "Becca Waits" themed poems.

I eventually had enough that I started configuring an idea for a chapbook, and even went as far to pitch my idea to an online readers and writers site Channillo.com) as a series.

(Which to my great joy, got accepted to, and thus far, about, oh, 8 months, or maybe even over a year ago now, after storyboard and tons of index cards, and grand visions and dreams, I have submitted about a total of less than 5 entries. Maybe less than three,,