The yellow umbrella

Hope is a funny thing, one second it's in your grasp and the next it slips through your fingers. All the light had fled from my life, I had no reason to exist. Nothing to look forward to, only things to look back at. I knew my best days were far behind me. It was school morning, the sun was hidden behind the clouds, not willing to witness my plan. It wasn't elaborate, but I had been thinking of it for a long time. I had been wondering when I'd finally snap and the day before I had. My last reason had left, the only way I could keep living was convincing myself things would get better, but I'm a bad liar.

"Of course, I can't even die peacefully." I mumbled as the raindrops hit the windows of the bus. I was standing up, the bus was full. School was a few stops away but I'd be getting off at the next one. Where I could look at the water rushing beneath me when I stand on the ledge. The rain grew stronger, the sky was crying for me, but I couldn't feel anything. I had reached my resolve and I wouldn't let myself waver. All of a sudden I was pushed forward, a man in work clothes had bumped into me.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" He asked me, I bit back a bitter retort at the sincerity in his voice.

"Yes, I'm fine." I lied. He shuffled to his seat and in a few minutes the bus halted. I shuffled to the front and the doors opened. A gust of cold air made me shiver and I braced myself as I started moving out into the cold.

"Wait! Hold on!" The man ran up to me with a bright yellow umbrella in his hand, he offered in to me. I narrowed my eyes wondering if it was money he wanted. "As a apology." He explained, but I didn't buy it. He took my hand and placed the umbrella in it, securing my fingers around the handle. "You can return it to me tomorrow, I'll be on the bus." He went back to his seat and I stumbled out, opening the umbrella and shielding myself from the rain. I don't know what it was that touched me so much, maybe it was the small act of kindness, or maybe it was because I was scared, perhaps it was even the bright yellow color that made my eyes sore - whatever it was evoked cries I had never heard myself let out. I didn't feel like I was the one crying, I felt as if I was watching it happen. I had to return the umbrella, so I decided to struggle through another day. I never saw him again, he was never on the bus, but everyday I sat at the bus stop with the yellow umbrella in had. Something as silly as that had saved my life.

- Megan Menezes