Motherhood WTF

Let me start by saying I always wanted to be a mum. And I don't regret a thing.

However.....

Why the hell don't women talk about how hard it is!?!?!

Why is it some sort of unwritten rule that complaining about being a mum is not ok? or it in some way suggests you don't love your child?

I am a 38 yr old woman with a 1 yr. old and let me tell you, this past 15 months have been the hardest of my life, emotionally, physically and psychologically, not to mention financially. (I am too old for this) At one point I messaged a fellow aged mother and asked whether her stomach hurt from bending down to pick her kid up all day or was it just me!

So all those winning mums out there that don't say anything bad or tell women what it can be really like can just stop reading, this article isn't for you... your already perfect and I am sure you a raising a real winner!

All the other mums that struggle and as they sit at home in a big old puddle of tears thinking that they are the worst mothers in the world, or that other mums don't go through what they are going through. Or that other mums find it easier than they do, or the myriad of thoughts that go through their mind in the wee hours of the morning when your kid is screaming and you don't know why and your partner is looking at you for answers like because you gave birth to the child you have any sort of better idea than he does, then he rolls over and goes back to sleep because why would he need to be awake in the dark? That is crazy talk! He has to work. (So do I).

So if your this mum. Like me, gear up for some fun articles where it is high time mums talk about the reality of motherhood and don't feel guilty about it.

My baby is gorgeous, he is funny, he is so smart, and sometimes his an arsehole. He hates people, he wont stay with new people, he is a dummy thrower so a trip in the car requires a 5 pack of dummies just to get anywhere because all the others go flying around the car.

A trip to the doctor is like I have thrown him in a cage with lions, his ability to put off sleep is like I have never seen, his shear will power and endurance is something that should be channelled into something very productive he could rule the world, however his currently using it to rule me.

Sometimes he outsmarts me, and I just go "you know what boo, you can have this one" even I'm impressed.

And that moment when I am just about to snap and everything is about to fall down around me, he can look at me with one smile and I melt. But don't think I didn't see that smirk on his face when I gave up at 3:30am and let him in bed with me.

Post natal depression I am convinced it just not being prepared, and all these other mums aren't telling one another how hard it is, so we sit around beating ourselves up when we don't have the answers, we feel like failures, we feel like we aren't doing the best thing for our children.

Well fuck that. Mums need to support mums, and start being honest. It makes us no less a good mum just because we are happy to admit it's hard, we don't know, but we are doing our god damn best.

Stay tuned for some quality stories from the last 15 months of my life, when I find the time to get them down!