what we hear more times than we can count.

Trigger Warning: physical and emotional abuse.

- - - - -

So, here's the deal. Here's the sitch.

Here's the big ol' spoon I'll now gently pry between your lips.

Love is meant to be freedom, and love is meant to be kind.

Love is not meant to be difficult. Love is not meant to be pain.

In my particular line of business we see it all.

We see couples who weren't meant to be together

try to give it one final go--

or perhaps 33 more attempts before that one final go.

We see broken hearts who insist on 'making' someone

get back to them, as if there is an invisible leash of light

that they can pull on if they only get those magical words right,

or if they apologize or plead or beg just one more time.

Then there's indignation at the wrong place, and completely out of line

of people who believe they are entitled to being the only love prevailing

in other people's lives.

There's the aggression, the violence, of people who say love is meant to hurt.

There's the denial, the gaslighting, the manipulative brainwashing

of people who believe this is what they rightfully deserve.

Because they think they deserve cruel or sharp-edged words,

they think they deserve cruel thoughts,

they think they deserve backhand insults

and the occasional cigarette burn, slap, choke, push or shove.

They think they deserve all this because perhaps, more often than not,

that is all they have ever see, all they have ever known.

That's the hardest thing about life, as I've seen it, as I've coached it:

trying desperately to reason with the spiraled brains of those

who mistakenly but truly

believe they are deserving

of trauma-induced

misery.