The Ugly Side of Where My Logic Lays

And in the gray ashes that envelope my energy,

lay those lingering, misguided hopes –

and here they come now to parade down on me!

Suffocating me –

catapulting me into

another catastrophic depression.

I cannot break hold;

its grip is tight around my neck.

And I begin to panic;

then fear sets in.

And all the while,

I am dousing myself in cold-hearted flames –

yes, I am burning.

Trapped in a vision –

so raw and real.

And I can feel it all.

Punishment for sins

that were not of my belonging.

Hauntings of a past,

within some version of me,

where a hint of familiarity

sets itself in gently.

Though,

I cannot see the depth of it;

I cannot reach the core.

And it weakens me;

I am withering away in the physical world

by some unknown attacks.

An invisible murder,

though never ending.

And I cannot see their approach;

only their collision with me.

I am not without pain

and a mighty, sore misery.

A servant to its hands –

I am forever bound in its grip.