Control

Don't underestimate my self control

I've never lost it once even when I lost it all

The loose screws in my head remain attached

Perhaps to sanity or maybe to anger they latched

I've been to hell and back plenty of times 

Swam in oceans of lavas and spoke tongues of rhymes

Beheld sights I wished to wash my eyeballs after

Learned crafts so shady I became a trade master

I learned from a young age to hold it in

To keep the rage inside living underneath my skin

Don't think you can shake the foundation I built for years

Its walls stand on layers of grief and fears

With no doors to exist and no windows to look from

Once inside, you are bound to feel numb

The way I felt when it all came crushing down

Because if I let anything else pass through, I will surely drown

I've yet to learn to swim in the oceans of my neglected feelings

Refusing to start the journey to initiate the needed healings

I still need to stand strong, though undead to most people

Stitching myself piece by piece with a rusty needle

So don't you dare think me weak, my child

I've chosen the darkness, a domain that my heart beguiled.