The Edges and The Pursuit

The world outstretched in more directions than I can see

Than you can see

And than any mind can truly develop awareness of even if given infinite lifetimes to see, touch and feel it

Do not ask me to stay put

Do not ask me to stand still

Do not ask me to accept this exact iteration of life as all there is

Do not ask me to deny the yearning of my soul to see what exists beyond this moment, this emotional state,

and this identity

This collection of repeated experiences and routines, this tiny bubble within a limitless expanse, and this small corner of already witnessed world

My mind is not designed to believe it knows everything and be satisfied

To see the edges of its experience as the edges of the universe

To reach the end of some well traveled path to a popular destination and call it “all there is”

To see the dark as an untouchable mystery and familiarity as a comfort

My mind is designed to be aware of what it doesn’t know

To be lit up by a partially drawn map with unexplored roads,

dark, dangerous wilderness

and secret passageways

To crave to swallow up the unknown that exists while simultaneously realizing that this endeavor is impossible and cannot be done

My mind desires the adventure in surprise and the bravery in exploration

It revels in the knowing that the world doesn’t end at the tips of my fingers

No, the world is much larger than that

It is deep and long and wide

It reaches past the dark horizon and further than the light can travel

The world holds much that I have never touched yet still I dare to reach

It cradles more than I have ever seen yet still I dare to search

It has buried within it the secrets of all things for centuries, eons and ages

The consumption of which could both break and inspire a mind hungry enough to taste it

And I am hungry for the world

I desire it with my whole being

I prefer to go where the darkness lives

I prefer the unseen borders of the universe

The places within and without that most dare not acknowledge

I prefer to pour these minutes, hours, days and years into the idea that I may, in fact, see it all, be it all and know it all

Though each experience only proves to illuminate all that is yet a mystery

My heart delights in the pursuit

-Amber Denise