Too Much

The key gets stuck and the door won't open.

With a sigh I pull it out and start over again.

I jiggle and firmly yet gently turn with one smooth motion.

The lock is released; "Thank you God, and amen

The clock tells me it's late,

the apartment is to quiet.

He is gone now, I have met my fate.

He warned me firmly but without any riot.

I talked all day on the phone at work.

Exhausted is a word in which there is no cure.

I stand with my back to the door

praying for a way to help me endure.

My tears fall quietly as I stumble to the chair,

the one in by my little table with a typewriter

positioned in front of the window where

I can see the city lights twinkly and brighter.

Unbidden my fingers are positioned on the keyboard.

I wait for the quiet to stop the chatter within.

I must write something joyous or I will fall overboard.

The desperation inside won't let me begin.

I look to the heavenlies housed securely in my mind

and whisper a prayer to My Heavenly Father.

I know if I wait, and am patient, at just the right time

His thoughts will fill mine and they will take me farther.

The first word to break up the white of the paper

is small but the meaning is evident.

Help! This word came out of a violent storm

of emotions bursting out of my soul with inelegance.

For the next hour I poured out my heart,

my words were sometimes jumbled and unclear.

With each word that came I realized with a start

how much of my turmoil began to disappear.

At the end of the time with my soul

I realized and identified the hopelessness

was there because I felt I had no control

over life or how futile it sometimes seems to us.

But a gentle tender Spirit overcame the despair

and reminded me that I am never alone.

There is someone who is with me and He cares

Jesus is with me forever until my time here is done.