This stupid back and forth

is breaking me apart.

Holding on too tight,

while trying to let go

and as if someone were there

but I'm already on my own.

Torn as if I'm wanted,

like there's a place for me to stay.

When I've been told so many times there's not,

and shown it's always been that way.

It should be gettting easier,

The longer I'm away

The moments fade together,

I don't remember them the same

But while I still long for what you never gave,

The part I miss most is the unjustified pain

Your sudden lashes of anger,

knowing I'd done nothing wrong

The bruises, stings, and aches you left,

used to cover up your lies,

As if you

hitting me

Would twist the truth in MY mind