27 or 28 Days From The New Year

Good thing I have one of these left from December 4th.

Tomorrow is December 5th- the day I've been anticipating and dreading. Excited for what I'll do but also scared of what will be done.

I should make plans to keep myself busy tomorrow and going through this life.

It's like I wanna live but I don't have:

The motivation.

The energy.

The need.

The want.

The gift.

I feel so worth it but also so worthless.

I feel like no one really cares that much.

I want to do it just to see if anyone would actually care.

I don't really feel like I deserve to live.

I just don't want to be a disappointment.

Wait, I already am.

I don't want to make myself worse.

I'm afraid I'll make myself worse.