At Nine

At nine I began to fade.

My colors went dull,

My existence became worn.

At nine I started

To contemplate 

Ending this dismal life.

At nine I lost

My innocence 

Never to be found again.

At nine I lost myself

Inside a kaleidoscope 

Full of whirling twirling lies.

At nine I stopped 

Living and began

Merely to exist, as I remain.