My head
feeling a slave to my mind and my grave,
feeling ashamed,
Lost
And gazing down the rabbit hole.
Knowing better
Feeling stuck
Eyes on the truth
But feet glued to my dark side.
Crying in my dreams
Oh nothing is as it seems
As I’m broken on the inside
Depicting an angel the outside
Oh baby it’s cold inside
It’s snowing inside
And I’m scared
My heart a blizzard
I’m lost
Below all my pride
Trauma
Oh it guides
Me to my darkest places,
Angel the outside
Cold,
Frozen,
Can you see it in my eyes?
Nobody pure for me,
Am I the only angel in this city of mine?
I feel so alone
Dark and sunken in my mind
Sleeping is my only obvious mark
Tired of the remarks
All I’ve ever been is true,
And kind
And yet you see me as nothing
Screw you.
I miss the warmth of me
The girl of light
Never seen
Every shadow cast on me
My light dimmed
Telling myself
I’ll be alright
With losses comes night
Dark
Forgetting the bright
With seasons come change
My insides dying to white
Crying in my dreams
Oh nothing is as it seems
As I’m broken on the inside
Depicting an angel the outside
Oh baby it’s cold inside
It’s snowing inside
And I’m scared
Here,
I am here, my body
conditions with my mind austere
Unclear
Coating my mind with veneer
To glue my thoughts together
Before they fall apart
A thick coat like leather,
Barricading the dark cold weather
My soul of light feels slipping into a tether
Falling to the never lost land
Peter land, rabbit holes
Feeling strand-ed
As she landed with a thunk
As he commanded.
Who is he?
He who grew 11 feet tall
towering in the dark full of ego and greed,
The one who turns the freed to trapped
The bands to snapped.
As he stretches the souls
Who threw themselves to despair
In his lies they heard truth.
Who is he?
The commander of the darkest deeds
The one who sits in the shallows
Feeding from the pleads of the lost souls who fell in the currents of his shallows of darkness.
Eyes on the truth
But feet glued to my dark side.
The girl scared,
Running to hide.
Guarding her light,
With all her might,
Scared if it slips away,
Forever it will be night.
Hating her pride.
Or anything dark deep inside.
As she eyed her demons
She felt with every person
They dried her fountain
Of love and pushed her aside
To be used and bruised and burned and drowned
She learned she was never seen
For her light
She was seen for her body and items
An auction prize
That was labeled with lies
As lust was drooled in their eyes of dark
Inbreeding her with marks
Her losing her soul one by one
As people turned-
Away.
They never stay.
Pawns at play,
This evil game
Leaving her feeling astray, alone
In her cold soul.
Oh baby it’s cold inside
It’s snowing inside
And I’m scared
I’m scared to never be loved
By myself, again.
Trapped in the human psyche of cages
Abuse and fields of trauma
The weeds so tall I cannot see
Seen as recyclable
Despite my good deeds
Re-usable.
Used.
Bruised.
Who is he?
The dark.
Robbing the light.
The demon of death.
The devil himself.
He resides in you and me.
The key to the inner night,
And the lies
Your chains of your artificial gains
Chaining me down causing my pain
Your cocain bad morals
Causing my soul of light
To drown day by day
As it rains in my soul
Feeling drained
Irony
Oh what a shame
I miss the girl of light
Who was bright and sane
Not lost in this bloodstain built wall
Inside of my brain
That causes my head to fall to night
Dimming my clarity sight.
art, my soul longing to connect and depart to the king lost land of bliss and pure happiness... where kindness cures souls, to love is to care, beauty, we’ll stare. Rather here we compare, broken in our own nightmare, frozen, unspoken, where we tare our own scars not even aware to our chaos called anger, depression we bare. The only way to repair, is to say and to talk not stay standing still in our own bloody nightmares. Talk about our turmoil and end this game we play with ourselves, solitaire. Clear our minds from these impaired broken seeds of so called greed and suffering. What we need in hopes not to bleed, is to visit the lost land of freed souls, that keyed in good choices by freeing their voices, open souls who’d rather succeed than have their demons mislead them to their forever eternal home with only sadness to bare with their lost blank stares...
I used to be so psychotic, selfish, needy, arrogant. I’m sorry the love we had saw those parts of me. I’m sorry our past selves went through the drama that the old me would create. It wasn’t fair. Isn’t it crazy from plain view things go unnoticed on my behalf but the further the distance between us the more I see