my skull is being crushed

let it break and let me breathe

nothing is my fault

but the guilt remains

it’s a problem

I don’t have the answers

let yourself free

let me alone to weep

here it is.

the grand finale.

why did I decide to depart?

just know I loved you.

I loved you all.

even if I said I despised you.

Thank you.

for the nothing you've done.

some have been gracious in their giving

and for that I am sincerely grateful.

but for the rest.

you wasted me.

I know your names

your home your creed

I will not forget.

I am like this due to your inaction

let my departure educate you

to tend in the slightest for my successors.

do not dare let my words go unmarked.

why do we do this?

playing a game of back-and-forth in our love, are you conscious of the emptiness we breed? I am.

why are you like this?

I know you love me and I feel the same, so please speak up, for what is there to fear? you're safe here.

why am i like this?

I shouldn't have waited so long what if you don't love me what if all your care for me has expired like my essence without you in my arms I am lost and I need you to find me so please just say the words

by the hour

like a grand clock strike 12

I hear the cracking

another can to down.

don't be silly

don't deny my overhearing

this system is broke hanging by a thread

but suit up, sweetie, don't flash that frown.

we've already loved for years

maybe millennia

but we love so quietly

they had to point it out to me

I didn't even know I loved you

so I finally spoke up

now we can love loudly

despite my brave act

we're both stuck in our ways

it seems

I remember the message you sent me

after that night at the theater

you said you wanted to embrace our cold hands

warm my lonely lips

don't worry, my love, we'll work it out

I was on that violet skylight again

Kicking back as the epochs go by

But now I'm in this situation

Trying to prove I'm good to you

All up in sensations

Trying to prove I'm meant for you

I'm out here, out here

Making me perfect for you

these wallz are thin like paper, love.

we all hear your drunken wailing.

sided with eternal tears,

and an icey gin on rocks.

the crying's unmistakable,

be glad only I was awake.

I sympathize with your emotions,

yet you've given me new fear.

Your sob possessed my heart and darkened my day.

Maybe it's the laid-off job,

or your daughter's declining grades.

Perhaps the overdue bills,

or the dog that never quiets.

Nonetheless you hold it all back,

but when you have four too many

all can hear through these paper wallz.

I sleep tonight with my pocketknife in my palm.

is it my sugared purple cocktails again?

or is it the intoxication of U

or are you just a disease

with a side effect of delu$ion$

im getting vi$ion$

you're giving me vi$ion$

all these vi$ion$ of me n U

it's driving me crazy

in more ways than one

please make my vi$ion$ a dream come true

first you'll feel it in your gut

as the blood forms a vacuum

from pulling away so fast.

and then your arms electrify

and continue to ignite your legs.

then your brain is on fire

and your heart is screaming.