International Women’s Day
today I've screamed my heart out
sorrounded by many sisters and amazing women
and left my workplace to fight
to participate in the revolution
to the woman who was looking at us
a smile that lights up her whole face:
thank you for coming to me
and telling me how grateful you are
we are supporting each other and making noise,
how much we reminded you of you in your youth
how impressed you were we are this young
thank you for your embrace, for bursting into tears
and making me burst into tears as well
you've given me so much
I promise you I'll never stop fighting
I'll use my voice till I no longer have it
I'll do it for you.
uncertainties.
my lips are chapped
my favourite earrings on my nightstand
all the lights turned off
but one far away in the sky
this song clenching my heart
making it hurt
nourishing it with pain
and the only cure seems to be
out of reach
I'm in the middle of nowhere
I know who I was
I know who I will be
but I can't find the present me
uncertainties draining my soul
this feeling is so new
I'm full and suddenly I'm empty
I wish the song didn't have to end.
just when.
and just when I think I'm done
when I've closed the door
when I'm no longer lost
but found, at least kind of.
just when future is all I see
when I wish we didn't meet
when I'm focused on me
just when tables have turned
when this city does no longer remember
when your voice is a stranger's
you are back
knocking on my door
claiming your place in my life
stepping on everything I've built
well I'm sorry I'm made of iron
when it comes to you
I'm sorry my heart has learnt
how to be immune to you
I'm sorry I'm not even sorry.
all of us women.
and last Saturday
I can't put into words
how brightly
how amazing
how mind-blowing
it was
all of us women
standing together
holding each other's hands
sparkling eyes
keeping each other warm
keeping silence
and screaming our hearts out
for those of us
who lost their voices.
women supporting women
Madrid became the tomb of sexism
thank you sisters
for making me feel at home.
to the very last verse.
my hands were shaking
I could barely stand still
my heart went wild
I looked up and stared at them
I was about to open my mouth
to let those words bathe in my voice
I cleared my throat
and hoped I'd make it
to the very end
to the very last verse
I put voice to that poem
my hands could barely hold that script
my voice broke halfway
the audience thought that was it
so did I
but I stood still
put voice to that woman's pain
just for her
and when I looked up
everyone in that room
broke down and would not stop crying
my voice made them cry
and I burst into tears;
all of us were a mess
just for her,
just for her pain.
just like you did.
It comes to you
when you least expect it
when you think you're done
when you wish you were done
when you're just gone
it comes embodied as a song
or a university lecture
or an espidifen pill
or a city name.
it comes
it sweeps me off my feet
it leaves
it wrecks me
just like you did
just like you still do.
inhabitant.
in me used to live a girl;
this girl was not full of life
she was life
she would stop doing that she was doing
just to stare out the window
and observe the sunset;
she would look at the future
tie her hair and go for it.
that girl somehow left
found somewhere she liked better
in me lives a girl
made out of fear;
this girl looks at the future
yet keeps turning her head
just to look at the past;
she looks out the window,
shakes her head
and keeps doing her job,
hoping that someone's
appreciating that sunset
just like she would've done.
but sometimes there's this knock
knock
knock
and this other girl comes back in
hugs the girl living in me
and says goodbye,
leaving her scent for me
to remember.
dear friend.
For putting up with me
our wholes lives,
especially these past six years;
for writing your poetry about me
even when I don't deserve it.
For picking me up every day,
with a smile on your face
and the sweetest 'morning' on your lips.
For creating poetry no one knows about
but me.
For having created an agreement
we haven't even talked about,
yet both of us are aware of;
for being one of the strongest
people I've ever met.
For laughing everything off,
yet carrying the world on your shoulders;
for calling me by my surname
just to piss me off.
His verses sometimes happen to be
about me;
today mine are his,
it's the least I can do.
July 6th.
I close my eyes and I'm back there,
I smell beer and this guy's cologne,
the guy who's hugging me,
but it's not him I'm looking at.
I close my eyes and I'm back there,
and there's no worries or muddy thoughts
anymore;
it's your eyes looking into mine,
as if the hand on my back belonged to you,
it's your eyes burning my insides,
as if it were only you and me.
I close my eyes and I'm back there,
and everything's clear,
I finally get every single cheesy song
and my heart skips a beat.
I open my eyes and I'm back here,
and all of it, long gone,
but this song making its way to my heart,
begging me to close my eyes once more.