I'm a big fan of being sad, but being happy is so boring

I prefer something that is neither and both

like a bitter happiness

a joyous pain

A feeling that rings in you

like a song so distracting you hate it

but so captivating you never want it to end

so deliciously bitter like dark chocolate

A feeling so complex you're sure you must be human

At night the trees have faces that look in through my window. At night the walls watch and wait for us to be alone. At night, when I'm alone, I can feel it's presence following me. I have to turn around, I've got to make sure it's not there. I need to look behind me. But I resist because all logic and reason says that nothing will be there. But I NEED to look! But I can't, I'm scared. I NEED TO LOOK BEHIND ME. But maybe I should, maybe this is the one time there will actually be something. I NEED TO LOOK BEHIND ME. I'm too scared of really seeing something! I NEED TO LOOK BEHIND ME. Just do it so you can stop imagining it standing there. LOOK BEHIND YOU.

There's nothing there. There never is, but that doesn't reassure me. It will never make that feeling go away. I'll always be followed, if only in my head.

Here's five pro tips to help!

#1:

Are you stuck inside with your annoying family members or roomates? Are you really tired of them being the only faces around all day? Well have I got the solution for you: simply take any of that cruddy makeup you bought or received over the holidays, and a razor (electric would be best). All you have to do is wait till your roomate/family member is asleep, shave off the back of their hair, and use that makeup to make a brand new friend right on the back of your old one! Now whenever they're getting on your nerves you just walk behind them and talk to your new, better, friend.

#2:

If solution #1 isn't working for you, here's a great alternative: All you gotta do is take whoever has been bothering you, and tie 'em up - you could use duct tape, rope, whatever you got around the house! This way you can shut 'em up, and get them outta sight!

#3:

But maybe it's not the people bothering you so much as being stuck inside. Maybe you just don't like not being able to spend the day outside, sitting under a tree. Well here's a way you can spend the day outside without having to worry about the cold! Just buy hundres of space heaters, and set them up throughout your neighborhood, and anywhere else you want to go. Suddenly it's as hot outside as a summer day!

#4:

Or are you looking for a more permanent solution to these problems? I still got you covered! Here's all you have to do: get you and all your loved-ones a rocket ship, and build yourselves a brand new home on the surface of the sun. Your days will never be cold again!

#5:

That still doesn't work for you? You don't have access to a rocket ship? Well don't worry, I've got one more solution for you. It's simple really, all you have to do is wait for a nice perfect day come along, a day that you would want to last forever, and simply stop the rotation of the earth so that the day really does last forever. You'll never deal with being stuck inside again, you'll never have to deal with the cold again. Plus it doesn't require anything that costs money! All you need is the ability to control the movement and gravitational pull of all large objects in space - easy peasy!