I am torn like a piece of shrapnel.

You know the saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too"?

Right now more than ever, I feel for whoever came up with that.

I am torn like a piece of shrapnel between my best friend versus my crush and another good friend of mine.

I am a real smart kid, but I have no f***ing idea what I am going to do.

I thought that time would come when I was in calculus as a 17-year-old.

But instead, it's when I'm 13 and in my social life. Screw calc anyways.

One of these sides offers just one person, but this is my best friend since 3rd grade, someone who can make me smile whenever they feel the need.

The other side has two people: my crush, who's someone who I like a hell of a lot and makes me feel warm inside; and another girl, a just as important friend who I can always count on and is my pretend "Life Coach."

Now, the two sides disagree. They aren't on speaking terms, ignore each other, and boom. Their friendship is out the window.

These two sides offer great things and happiness, but could I ever be happy with only one?

I might have to find out real damn soon.

Lots of times, you get in fights with your best friends.

It's just a clash of opinion.

You don't like them for about a day or so, and it might get worse.

You need to take the high road all the time, though.

Don't make it worse.

I am now looking at three of my best friends fight.

Not physically, but emotionally.

I know why they're fighting, of course, it's a disagreement.

They're not talking because they disagree.

Why do they disagree with each other?

The world will probably never know, other than the fact that they're ignorant.

And now, one of them has the chance to try to fix it.

I hope they do, I hope they be the bigger person, I hope they take the high road.

I honestly don't know what'll happen in this friendship fight.

Lots of times, you get in fights with your best friends.

And sometimes, that friendship gets fixed.

All I can personally do is hope.

The ones that love.

The ones that hate.

The ones that reel you in with bait.

There's a lot of people in this world.

The ones that cry till they're blue.

The ones that always laugh at you.

The oldest friends, and the new.

There's a lot of people in this world.

The ones that live just for fame.

The ones that never play at that game.

The ones that when you called, they came.

There's a lot of people in this world.

The ones who come with you like trees with bark.

The ones who you want to leave, disembark.

The ones who brighten you up in the dark.

There are a lot of people in this world.

I heard I was in your dreams. Weird, but cool. I apparently had cancer in your dream, which isn't so cool.

But it's the thought that counts, right? It's cool.

I think you're the coolest person out there. Maybe that's not the best adjective, but still. It's true.

Every time you talk to me, my day gets that much better. When you talk to me, it's really, really cool. Again, maybe not the best adjective. I could describe it so much better.

Now, this isn't a fricking love letter. I know that.

But that doesn't mean I don't think it's pretty cool.

Like you.

I am sorry.

I said it before, and I'll say it again.

I should have been better about it.

I should have known when to stop.

Sorry, Jacob.

Yes, I name names now.