i am the string

that hangs on the end of your sleeve

whispering for you to rip it away

quickly

harmlessly

painlessly

no problem, i say

i’ll be gone before you know it

but when you finally give in

i

u

n

r

a

v

e

l

The stars are my only constant

Besides you

We lay here

In the dark

Quiet

Peaceful

I hear your heartbeat

Beneath my cheek

The steady rhythm

Reminding me that you are real

We are here

And I am happy

It smells like fresh earth

Our clothes damp where they meet the grass

Sprinkled with midnight dew

I don’t mind though

We have the stars

And feel of your favorite gray sweatshirt

My hand beneath yours

Mindlessly tracing your thumb across my skin

Neither one of us speaks

For we know

These moments

Are

Infinite

And

Fleeting

These times are tough

You probably feel alone

Don’t be scared to reach out

Go pick up the phone

Get yourself out of bed

I know it’s hard to do

Accomplish one small task

Find purpose in you

Take a walk outside

Don’t hide in your room

Know this now isn’t your forever

And it’ll be over soon

the thoughts the thoughts THE THOUGHTS they’re running spinning racing around your mind and never stop neverstopneverSTOP remember that time in first grade in first grade the girl with the pigtails in first grade remember do you remember i remember you said something and she cried you said sOmeThing and she CriEd remember you hurt her youhurtheryouhurther how could you how could you she remembers she doesn’t forgive you the girl with the pigtails in first grade she hates you shehatesyou OH and today that man you passed in the street remember that man that man who you made eyecontact with the man you passed in the street with the sunglasses the dark sunglasses and you made eyecontact or maybe he wasn’t looking at you but you KNOW he was cause you saw him and you KNEW he saw you or maybe he didn’t but you know he did and why did he the man with the sunglasses look at you why you aren’t you scared just imagine thinkthinkthinkthink about him following you you should have run the man in the street with the sunglasses why whywhywhy what did he want the man in the street the man in the sunglasses you should have run you should have then a couple hours ago like two or three hours ago like around four or five o’clock probably around then just a while ago and your head hurt it was just like bambambambambam BANGing on the inside of your skull and your head god your head you took your medicine did you take your medicine you definitely got out the bottle did you take the medicine two of the blue ones the blue ones not the white ones the bottles look similar though did you take them you did you’re pretty sure but why can’t you remember is that why your head still hurt because you forgot to take them no it was just a headache but headaches don’t just happen for no reason BANGing does not happen to normal people but it’s just a headache my heartbeat in my head poundpoundpoundPOUNDPOUNDPOUND that doesn’t just happen right or does it does it happen remember that guy with the brain tumor the guy with the cancer and the brain tumor he had a headache but it wasn’t a headache wasnotaheadache he had cancer he had a tumor no idea noideanoidea and he died do you remember he DIED do you have a tumor a brain tumor is that what this headache is no you don’t have a tumor it’s not cancer why would you have cancer but it might be a tumor and you might have cancer and you don’t know youdontknow he didn’t know he didn’t know it was a tumor and he DIED maybe this is it maybe you have a tumor maybe you have cancer and you’re gonna die you’re gonna die youregonnadie no that’s crazy you called the doctor remember your doctor you called her and she said it was nothing to worry about nothing to worry about so stop worrying stopworryingSTOPworrying she said you should sleep you should sleep you’re probably just tired just tired and that’s why you have a headache you’re tired you should sleep that’s what she said your doctor she said not to worry so why are you worrying but you’re in bed and you can’t sleep you’re not tired wiDeAwaKe you’re wide awake and you can’t sleep so should you worry you should worry right right because she said you were probably tired but you’re not you’re nottired nottired at ALL and all you can do is think thinkthinkthinkthink and will it ever stop can you just stop thinkthinkthink thinking for a SECOND just stop stop talking stop thinking be quiet stopstopstopSTOP thinking just shut up justshutupjustshutupjustshutup JUST SHUT UP

#newestpiece #anxiety #mentalillness #EvelynDawn