She stole my guy, but at least I have some good banana recipes.

It was love at first sight when I saw his yellow hat and yellow suit. Not many men can pull off that kind of fashion statement, but on him it shined like gold. He was kind and gentle-natured, and we both loved animals. We had a whirlwind romance, and were soon engaged.

It was a magical time, but things changed when he came home one day with that evil monkey. At first I thought I was being silly. It was only natural that he would need to spend more time with the scared little fella he named George. But over time, it became evident that the monkey had a clear plan to be become the alpha chimp, dominating or destroying all those in his path. But Yellow Hat could never see this. When it came to his monkey, he lived in his own delusional fantasy world, assiduously avoiding the clear truth. He couldn't even see the fact that the monkey was a girl, which was plainly evident to anyone with the most rudimentary knowledge of anatomy.

He also had a pattern of overlooking the deviant behavior of his monkey, and focusing instead on the perceived silver lining. For example, George, or should I say Georgette, stole balloons from the impoverished balloon seller, ruining his livelihood. But because she managed to make a small boy laugh at her antics, she was considered cute, and he totally ignored her theft and its disastrous effects. He says we should be forgiving because the monkey was just curious!

And don't even talk to me about the time when she changed all the numbers on the train schedule at the train station, causing gridlock, accidents, and thousands of lost revenue dollars. And what does Yellow Hat do? He actually rewards her! Just because she managed to comfort a small boy who was scared, but he was only scared because of the mess she caused with the trains to begin with!

At first I wondered what the reasons were behind her behavior, but over time it became clear that she had developed a devious plot to steal Yellow Hat for herself and bend him to her will. It became a co-dependent relationship, with Georgette escalating her appalling behavior to the point of no return. Then at the last minute, she would twist facts and events to extract some marginal good deed. Yellow Hat seemed to enjoy being the savior, rescuing Georgette from whatever dangers she subjected herself to. Then, oblivious to the mayhem she caused, he shielded her from any of the natural consequences of her behavior. He became convinced that Georgette would not survive without his protection, totally unaware of how she was manipulating him. Of course, this drove a relationship wedge between the Yellow Hat and me, but I'm sure it was just what Georgette intended.

It finally became clear that there could only be one female in Yellow Hat's life, and I gave him an ultimatum; it was either me or the monkey. Not surprisingly, He chose the monkey.  He justified and defended Georgette's behavior, and then questioned my motives! I broke into tears, and ran out of there, but I'll never forget that last image of him, pointing an accusing finger at me with one hand, while cradling Georgette in the other arm. She had a wicked grin on her smug face, and was mimicking him, also pointing a finger at me, but on closer examination, it was her middle finger. 

Curious, my ass!