I walk into the bathroom and stare into the mirror. I look at my stomach, my face, my chin, my arms, my hips, and my lips. I wonder how anyone could love me, this thing i’m looking at in the mirror. This flawed barely human thing that I'm looking at. I don’t understand how someone could love me. I'm overweight, I'm dumb, I cry at everything, I either eat too much or don’t eat enough. I’m practically a child, a burden on anyone who tries to love me. I give up easily, I never try hard enough, and I constantly fail. When i look in the mirror all i see is the bad, but when my friends look at me, when my family looks at me, they see a strong, funny, intelligent, brave-hearted, and loving woman who’s struggling with her life, they see me and they believe in me, and most important of all they love me. They see the pieces of me falling and they pick them up one by one and sew me back together. They love me more than I believe I deserve.

Every day passes me by the same

Clean, cook, and school, a constant never ending cycle

Get behind, catch up

Make a mess, clean it up

Breathe in, Breathe out

The cycle goes on and on

There's never peace

There's never calm

There's never a break

You can stop but time still moves on

When you stop can't go again

You just watch time go by

You watch it go by without you

Until your lungs stop breathing

Until your heart stops beating

It may be for only a second

But it stops

You can come back from it

You can stay the same

You can try to make your cycle different

It may just save your life

I wake up every day and stare at my ceiling and wish how I could change. I get up and go to work like I do every day and everyday it's the same endless cycle. Today was different however, today as I was walking in a creepy guy ran straight into me, I fell on the ground, and he continued to walk. I got up, dusted myself off and continued to go to work. After my shift I walked to my car and noticed the same creepy man staring at me from across the street. I was not scared. I simply continued to my car and went to my apartment. I got home, took a shower, and went to bed.

When I woke up, I wasn’t in my bed, I was in a dark room laying on the ground, I searched for my phone in hopes it was with me, but it was not. Then I heard a voice, not a normal voice. It sounded like a computerized voice. I saw a faint light at what I'm assuming was the other side of the room, so I got up and followed the light. When I got to it there were three blank screens with mm in the first one, dd in the second, and yyyy in the third. I heard the voice again and it said, “Please select a date to go back to.” At first, I thought it was just a dumb prank, so to go along with it I set it at 09/16/2012 the day of my mom's car crash. I passed out and fell on the floor.

This time when I woke up, I was in my old bedroom, I could hear my mom cooking breakfast and I could smell it from my room. I looked at the alarm clock I had, and my table and it read 09:00 a.m. 09/16/2012, I ran into the kitchen and gave my mother the biggest hug. She laughed and said, “Well good morning to you too,” I started to get tears in my eyes and said, “I love you so much mom.” She looked at me, and asked "I love you too honey are you okay?” I replied with “yea mom I’m fine I’ll be right back,” and then I ran to my room shut my door and started pacing.

As long as I keep my mom inside all day she’ll be alright, so I started planning the whole day, we’d play games watch tv, bake together, have a movie night, I was prepared to do absolutely anything to keep her here, to keep her alive, I went back out and sat down at the island and said “hey mom why don't we have a family day today, we could bake, play games, watch movies what do you think?” She replied with “I think that’s a great idea honey, but I’ll have to go to the store to-” I cut her off “I can order the stuff we need and have it brought to us,” She looked at me confused for a moment but then agreed. The whole day we baked, played games, watched movies, everything. Finally, the clock turned to 12 a.m. and I had done it, i kept my mother safe.

We fell asleep on the couch and when I woke up, I was in my apartment, and once again I heard my mother singing and cooking, I got up and said hey to my mom. We sat and ate breakfast. I still try to keep her out of the car as much as I can just to be safe. My mom lives with me, I have a different job, we got a house, and I actually went to college.