Suicide
I tried with a noose, overdosing 2 bottles of coughing syrup, drowning myslef. Guess death itslef doesn't want me. I am still struggling trying to cope with the harsh reality of life where ignorance is supposed to be a bliss. I went in and out of therapy, and all I can say it has been helping me alot. Writing letters and burning them down relieves me. A message out there, don't kill yourself. xoxo
To my future self
Hi, I didn’t expect to come this far. I’ve tried to kill you several times but I guess life has some things to store for us later. I hope you’re doing well, hopefully that bastard dad of yours is living somewhere in an old folks home. I can’t stand him. We all did. I hope my dreams of becoming the next picasso isn’t shattered. You’re probably on your way to create your own luxurious gallery somewhere in europe. Tell my future husband I said Hi. I am currently making a time capsule besides writing this letter. It’ll be filled with love letters from your friends, your paintings, your favourite stuffed toy and mostly, a necklace from Brian. I couldn’t thought of myself to wear it now. Maybe in the future I’ll be brave enough to wear it. I refuse to talk about Brian here. All you need to remember that he was your best friend. Deceased best friend, particularly. I’ll bury it somehwere and no worries, you will find it in no time. This year was horrible. Forced to work while struggling between school and a job that has you standing in the ungodly hours of 9 till 11pm. I hope you bought that bass guitar you’ve always wanted. How’s mom? Is she at least 70 by now? How is she holding up? Treat her good. I don’t want her to suffer anymore. If she’s dead, I want you to revisit her grave after you read this. Take some chill pill, drink some water and take a breath, I want you to be happy because these teenage years of yours are a wreck, and I hope I’m not missing school alot. Sadly, I have to end this letter. It’s way past my bedtime. I love you, and dont let the inner demons bite:)