smells like autumn

tastes like grapes

sourish

brings me back

way back

when i flourished

i was never wrong

for leaving

home is just a feeling

i crave when i'm all alone

i have many faces

and they're all mine

me

they change daily

so i forget who i am

mirror reminds me i exist

but when i look at myself

i don't know who's looking back

maybe all i needed was something to believe in

and now you're leaving

thought that i was finally winning

but that was just a necessary step

i had to take

to fall harder than ever

and harder than that

it's so quiet in here

but i can hear all the demons screaming my name

you clown!

you fool!

and all i can say is

i know

i knew

in your cold waters

i can't sink any deeper

put down the gun

or just pull the trigger

my hair tangled

in waters so gently

you can't see my tears

but there are plenty

mouth turned violet

from waters so violent

you won't hear my screams

they're so silent

light finding its way to the bottom

my toes touching the sand

i know if i ever get out

you'll just drown me again

teach me how

you give yourself

in right amounts

teach me the equation

before i run out

of myself

cause i give all or nothing

my heart till i'm left heartbroken

my soul till it gets tired and falls

but lately i give nothing at all

lately i'm cold and nothing is safe

nothing cause that's all that's left

of me

so i just hide

and hope that no one seeks

everything i ever loved

i tiptoed

my hands could carry a bubble

without any trouble

i knitted a scarf of silence

with all the screams i swallowed

everything i truly felt

danced alone in stealth

thank god i’m nothing more

than a few drops of water

that accidentally end up in your ears

when you wash your hair

i couldn’t take more responsibility

’cause i only intent to slightly interfere with your life

not to remain there