too little too late
not enough words to relate
learned to speak too late
body moves against Worm's will, on its own, muttering gibberish again, shaky hands a child with no mind, eyes see only blurry shadows blinded, her angry flames
I see you are still a worm, my friend, my lover. Worms don't live very long do they? I'm pretty sure they don't! Bless your heart. If I knew you were a worm I never would have brought you along. Ten years gone I'll step on your little wormy toes again, I don't even have to look! scum
Piss poor worm, don't speak with such hate
you learned too little too late
A gleaming golden knot
10-karat gold, a cold
gleaming chain of rope woven links
that she began when she grabbed my life
and linked it to her own
voiceless then,
until the end I followed and
was strung by hand (hers)
through oiled cloth
a decade long
for miles and miles
her laughter lit the chain afire
a burning pit
pure gold drip, a copper core
it was never good enough
I know, I swore
promised I was better, broken
harder, colder,
an alloy that held
bitter words
til brittle snapped
should have held your hand
reciprocated
my fault, your fault
our metal chain became a brand
love is a renewable resource
an aquifer buried, perhaps just west of our lungs
that we can can drain with reckless abandon
to give to people,
and things,
,, and more people
with questionable rights and, even more,
questionable motives
Crack shale, and pump in poison,
to find the latest dregs of emotion
hoping to keep
to own.
Once I gave,
two people, shining
the rights to a greater amount
than ever relinquished
before
A sun and a comet,
a queen and a sword
and the farmer
made three
and we would dole out
to each other
carefully unmeasured,
cups of our attention.
Pouring it where needed,
filling every hole
emptied by business owners
who by generational contracts
seemed to have bought our souls
love is a renewable resource
insofar as you filter its waste-
three wells brimmed with effluent
here a methane leak,
a horde of rats,
a pyre built of love and trash
A confession:
I hate to admit it affects me 5 years later. But there isn't anything as vulnerable as being young and in a relationship with two people who you've known almost your entire life. To have your lives intertwined, your dreams written together, your insecurities built on their words. I wouldn't be alive if we hadn't had each other. I can't help but wonder if our lives will ever cross again, even if I avoid thinking of them with all I have.
Consume ii.
please go to sleep he wishes she wishes kiss on lips
please don’t listen let go let rest lie nothing changes, don’t get your esophagus in a twist it’s
quite, only temporary there’s nothing left to see so please
let quiet whirl silent air fill your thoughts, just nothing there
/ I’ll kiss it gently, the hole in your head /
it’s quite cute, that little hole in your forehead bare
so clean and drained of all things meaning less than what you’d said you promised
listen now, to only me that form is only
only warm when we’re together here forever blue depths
until her card expires
Consume i.
He waved and whistled and waved and wittled the beast until there was no more resistance against his fingers and his toes, he dug fingers into coffin soft flesh, toenails gripped long fibrous hairs left sticky
blue residue upon every near surface he
felt heartbeat rang mixed the sound of laborous tepid breathing screamed
he climbed and climbed to find the beast’s head but finding nothing nothing endless stinking hairs like anchored ropes endlessly extending outward clung to flesh for direction for purpose in the forest of dripping stinking hair
Pig insects clicked and spat they burrow through the meat around he climbs and climbs, rotten chunks they’ve chewed dangle from tiny spiral mouths filled with tiny blood stained teeth. Tiny fingers tiny claws on all six arms or legs they wave as rolling careening through trailing hairs and furrows of meat they collide with him, break his climb with all their strength
Light comes from above somewhere behind, below, above
?
the heartbeat echoes endlessly as his progress stops, unsure uncertain still breathing hard, choking on stagnant thick air that moves in no direction at all
the fleas pigs keep coming and he clings to flesh, lets his fingers then his arms, falls to his knees begins to sink, into soft red purple meat relieved he pushed, further in
wading slowly reaches his chin, takes a breath of rancid air
dives in theres nothing to see through the flesh caves behind him and murky currents draw him suck him deeper in
Far removed
Soggy rat at waters edge beckons,
eyes black ears rotten
nubs which melt into matted fur floating
in water
/ come / it whispers, tail flick drop of water lands on cheek
you bend over the creek, purple
rock cuts into finger sharply
lose your balance fall too quickly.
Ice floods every nerve and sense they
/ welcome here
we swim and play, hear the water
feel it sway
around you taking wherever wants they,
hear it rumble hear it roar
above our heads in another world.
no mames wey angel verga
crack leads deep through pits of asphalt tar hot
and stick black walls breathe inward
outward gust of smoke rush upward
heaven,
sweet lilac clouds part there shes waiting
soft arms warm arms smells of tar arms nothing
better than soft sweet mirage arms can she hold
you down or drop you
back to earth where birth you came
from gentle soil earth embrace you
rebel fought thrashing, please don’t hold
on can’t be real the lie is better lies
are always better promise she whispers
tongue on ear love? even though
your flesh is melting every
skin she touches forgets to be
skin turns to mush black
smells like tar push
twelve stakes from the heart beating
too slow angel
Pins and needles pins and needles all the world fuck is g pins and needles voice or airplane stabbing needles bite or kiss bitch empty ballpit empty ballot less than 3 brain cells hay needles pins and oily cardboard box with mildew stomach lining pins and needle sharp blades of grass a thousand million million pins in velcro attacking ears and hand and eyes and hand and did you know how much surface area grass has pins and needles my leg is actually numb airstrike who spoke its someone important names are missing face is missing sound is missing drone in left ear scream in right tongue burnt on a breadstick burning branch hair straightener flavored rubber dick who lost its owner they hate me any way i go a pin andneedle on the clock paid by the year countdown to fuck
Pet
Thought you were a dog, she said, because i wanted a dog and you seemed like a pig but close enough,, she said i loved you for the way i made you feel, except now im sure you dont feel things so it doesnt hurt you like it should, when i tell you i don’t love you you’re supposed to seek me out,, she said i wanted a cute pet to give me everything i wanted but now that you’re a person i don’t want you piece of garbage, she said, all my work for waste i shouldn’t have given you treats, she said i found a new pet dog but now i wish I’d killed you not just let go of the leash.