ONCE AGAIN
It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold.
I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend's wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batch mates. But what I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue I front of the airline counter.
I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glues to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.
I was stuck between rushing to go and talk to her or ignoring her and treating her like a stranger. I bet she does not even remember my name so I chose the latter.
I wondered what she was doing here as she was born and raised in Bengaluru. She had been here once to meet her cousins. Lost in my thoughts I robotically went and boarded my plane. I had got seat next to the window seat. I wanted the window seat to distract myself. Well I hope the person who gets the seat will be willing to swap with me.
"Excuse me? Sorry but you are in my seat" an angelic voice caught my attention.
I lifted my head to see the person whose thoughts I was avoiding. She inhaled sharply when she saw me. Both of us were staring. I was looking at her beautiful brown orbs and loosing myself in them. Finally she shook her head a little bit as if to clear her thoughts.
"Well?" she asked me breaking me from the trance. God, I had missed her!
"No, I think this is my seat. Check again" I told her gaining back my commonsense.
She was looking back at her ticket with a slight frown. Her nose was scrunched up and she was looking adorable.
"Oh yes, you are right! I got the window seat. I wish I had your seat." She pouted. My eyes found her puckered lips. I used to kiss those lips.
I mentally slapped myself. 'She is your EX! You cannot think about her like this now! You lost your chance. She may even have a boyfriend' my subconscious was mocking me.
"You can sit in my seat. We will swap." I told her quickly before my thoughts went down a darker path.
"Thank-you" she heaved a sigh as we switched places.
"If I am not wrong you are Ranveer right? We used to go to college together?" she asked.
Well atleast she remembers my name. I should be feeling happy but why was my heart squeezing uncomfortably.
'You deserve it. You caused this to happen' my subconscious was mocking me again.
"Yes Anumitha. You got it right." I gave her a small forced smile.
"Thank you for switching with me. I hate window seats you know?" she smiles brightly at me.
"I know." I tell her as I am hit with a memory.
I was scared as I was going out of Delhi the first time. I had got seat in a famous college in Bengaluru so I was going to start my college studies there.
"Hi" I heard a female voice.
"Hello" I mumbled searching the owner of the voice. I looked at the girl sitting in the window seat and my jaws dropped. She was beautiful. Her sun kissed skin was flawless and her long black hair was slightly curled at the ends. Her brown eyes were full of life and now she was eyeing me with amusement. I must have looked like an idiot staring at her.
She took my ticket and searched my seat. "Your seat is next to mine. Can you please swap?" she looked at me with those killer eyes.
How could I say no to that? So I swapped.
"Thank-you. I seriously hate window seats. I don't know why but they give me the creeps. By the way my name is Anumitha. What's yours?" she smiled.
"How do you know?" she asked me bringing me out of my daydreaming.
"I just guessed because you asked me to swap" I quickly corrected my mistake.
She was convinced and we just talked about casual things till the plane landed and we parted our ways.
*
"Hey! Kushal, marriage suits you!" I greeted my friend. It was his wedding that I had come to attend. Kushal and Adithi, the bride, were both my friends. They were dating from college and today they were lucky to be getting married.
"Hey Ranveer! You are late!" Kushal huffed.
"Bro your wedding is still five days away. I'm early! So where is our princess?" I grinned at him.
"I won't be seeing her till the wedding day! Some tradition!" He whined. I was laughing at him when I saw Rahul. I hated that guy from the day he started flirting with Anumitha. I smiled smugly when I remembered that wonderful day of my life.
I was feeling nervous. I was sure she will accept but still I was nervous. I had been dating Anumitha for 6 months now. We both had been friends from the first meeting in the flight. We both were in the same college too. Soon I had asked her out on a date and to my surprise she agreed.
Currently we both were in our college canteen and I was waiting for waiter to bring the cake. Out of no where our group friends joined us at our table making me more nervous. This annoying Rahul also joined us. Finally it arrived and I was waiting for Anumitha's reaction. I had ordered her favorite chocolate cake and it had a message 'Will you be my girlfriend?'
Seeing this all my friends became silent and Rahul started laughing. I bent my head down not feeling so confident. I felt something soft touch my cheek. I lifted my head to see Anumitha had just kissed me and she said YES! I was the happiest man on earth and the look on Rahul's face was memorable.
"Go take some rest and then you have to help me with the wedding." My daydreaming was broken by Kushal.
*
Five days flew away and it was time for the wedding. I had put on my peach colour silk kurtha. The groom side reached the venue and we were waiting for the Bride to come.
Adithi came first, she was the most beautiful bride I had ever seen. Seeing me she grinned and waved. I could not respond to her as my eyes were on the angel behind.
Anumitha was wearing a maroon colour sari and she looked more beautiful than the bride. For me she would always be the most beautiful woman. All the repressed feeling came back. I wanted to go and hold her, hug her and tell her that I loved her. I was not over her. I had not dated anyone after her. I was this close in telling her everything but the wedding started and I controlled myself.
*
The wedding went by smoothly and we were taking pictures.
"Sir, you move to your right. Yes, next to madam in maroon sari. Both of you complement one another." The photographer shouted.
I was made to stand next to Anumitha and tension was in the air. All my friends knew about our situation and I wanted to confess everything to her and beg for her to take me back.
Looks like the universe was testing me.
We were taken to lunch hall and there was only one place left. Yes, you guessed it right, it was next to Anumitha.
"Hi" she greeted me with a smile.
"Hi. Do you remember me?" I asked her.
My simple sentence held so much meaning.
"Of coarse! We met in the airport five days ago right?" she smiled at me. Again my heart broke into million pieces.
I just sat down and ate silently. She tried talking with me and I replied with vague answers.
"They have chocolate cake for dessert! My favorite!" she said.
"I know." I said and I left. I could not sit there next to her and pretend everything was all right when I was breaking from inside. It was my own fault. I will never forgive myself for that and I deserve this for hurting her. I still remember that fateful day like yesterday. I wish I could go back and change everything but I could not do anything now.
It was the last day of our college journey. We had finished all our exams and decided to celebrate. We went to a club to enjoy. Anumitha was looking dashing as always.
We were together for four years now and I was thinking of ways to propose to her. I wanted to marry her and make her mine forever. She had been acting a bit weird now a days. She would get jealous whenever I talk to any girl. May be she was insecure. I wanted to chase away all her fears.
I was waiting to get a job so that I could ask her hand in marriage. I had got great offers both in Delhi and Bengaluru. I just had to choose the place.
Everything was going on well. Anumitha was on phone with her mother and Adithi and Kunal were talking. Suddenly Kunal rushes out and Adithi looked like she was about to cry. I took her to the dance floor to cheer her up. Apparently they both had been fighting about telling their parents about their relationship and I was trying to calm her down.
From my peripheral vision I saw that Anumitha was dancing with Rahul and he had his arms around her waist. I was beyond angry. I rushed towards them and dragged Anumitha out.
"Why the hell were you dancing with him?" I shout at her.
"Why, should in ask your permission? I could ask the same thing to you" she shouted even louder.
"Adithi is your friend, she was crying and I was comforting her. You know Rahul has always had an eye on you. He never stops flirting with you. You should not let him come between us." I reason with her.
"Well I am tired of seeing you flirting with every girl in town! I can't do this anymore" she shouts at me.
"Well how should I make you understand that I have my eyes only for you! Why are you being so jealous? I have never given you a reason for you to doubt me and yet you act like this! I am tired of giving you answers when I have not done anything wrong!" I tell her tiredly. I was sick of this behavior.
"Well don't give me any answers! I am annoying you aren't I? I'll leave you now! Go and dance with who ever you want!" she yells moving towards exit. I wanted to go and stop her but I knew we both needed to calm down or things would get worst. But little did I know that this was the worst decision of mine.
I got a call tomorrow morning telling me that Anumitha had been in a car accident. She had not been paying attention to her surroundings and had rammed her car to a tree. She had sustained brain injury.
I had rushed to the hospital and she was in surgery. It was the most painful time of my life. It was breaking my heart waiting for any news. Wondering whether I will see her again or not, that thought alone was killing me.
'God I will do anything just make her well again.' I prayed.
Finally the doctor told she was safe but had some brain damage. I saw her lying on the small hospital bed. I died a thousand deaths seeing her like this. A few days later she woke up and I went to see her.
"Hi. How are you feeling?" I asked her.
"I am ok thank you but do I know you?" she asked with a confused expression.
I later got to know that she had lost a few of her memories and apparently I was totally erased. Doctor warned us not to overwhelm her with memories and that we should wait for her to recover by her own. Or else she would be in danger.
I had paid for my mistake. If I had stopped her, if I had not gotten so angry and reassured her, this would have not happened but I was too late.
"Hey. You alright there?" called her soft voice.
I hastily wiped my tears. She had never remembered me and I left for Delhi. I had not seen her but she was always in my thoughts.
"Yea. I'm fine." I told her.
"You know who ever says they are fine are lying! I'm telling by experience!" she tried to lighten the mood.
"Why did you have to lie?" I ask her.
"I had been in an accident and I lost my memories. But I feel like I am lost something more. The funny thing is I don't even know what I have lost. Every day I feel incomplete. I, I..." she starts sobbing.
I can't control myself anymore. I go and hug her.
"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry." I tell her. She finally calms down.
"I saw you at the airport and I felt somehow better. I don't know what but I could not take you of my mind. I see things in your eyes. I know that something has happened in between us. Just please tell me. Don't keep me in the dark." She pleads.
And I do just that, I tell her everything. She listens everything slowly. I am scared that she will blame me and will hate he. I wait for her reaction.
"So now I know why my heart skips a beat whenever I see you. My mind may have forgotten you but my body remembers your touch. You idiot! Why didn't you tell me this earlier? And don't blame this on yourself. It was not your fault. I am glad I finally found you." she reassures me.
My heart sores with her answer. I swiftly capture her lips with mine and my whole body buzzes with sparks. Both of us are eager and we are trying to make up for the time lost.
Finally we break apart.
"What would you have done if I had not told you?" I ask her curiously. It was shocking that she believed me so soon and I had her again.
"I guess I kinda fell in love with you as soon as I saw you. You made me love you again in that short plane ride. I would believe anything you say" she smiles and hugs me tightly. I hug her back promising to never let her go.
We once again find love together.
The frog and the nightingale by vikram seth
Once upon a time a fat man
Sang stridently in Bingle Building
Every karaoke night from dusk to dawn
He sang on and on and on
His neighbours loathed his voice,
But, alas, they had no choice,
As he was the landlord of Bingle building they had to praise his voice
A few who were brave voiced out truth to have no affect for the fat man was thick skinned
One night a new lady joined their karaoke
Her voice as soft as melody
Every one stood up with gaping mouths
She could be the next sensational singer.
Claps, whistles and praises were heard
She was not used to this, feeling happy she sang throughout the night.
The next day when she was about to sing the fat man made his comments
'Who may you be' she asked.
'I am the owner of Bingle Buildings. I think you could sing better. Under my guidance you will blossom, I charge a meager fee.' The fat man spoke.
Happy to have found a master she agreed and thus began their lessons.
Wake up early and practice, the old man insisted.
Her shows now made a lot of money.
People from other buildings came just to listen to her voice, which grew tired day by day.
The people for the show now reduced
The fat man said, practice more
One fine day she could not sing
The damage to her vocal cords was permanent
'I tried to teach her but she did not learn.' The fat many scorned.
Only he could sing, on and on and on.
Am I not pretty?
Chains clinking on the damp walls
Hands and legs bound
Blood oozing from nose and mouth
Skin covered with blisters
Blonde hair tangles and dirty
No one to hear you scream
No sense of time
Nothing to see
It is dark, it is always dark
Some days are lucky, finding water
Gulping the liquid from the packet
Only to vomit it out after tasting the drugs mixed with it
''What place is this?'' A raspy voice asks and is met with silence.
Oh what would a soul do to escape this darkness and see a little light
God answered the prayer and a bulb flashes to life
Looking at the face a shriek echo's throughout the dungeons
Placing one hand on my heart and the other on my scarred face I pretend to be hurt
''Why did you scream? They are only nails.'' I poke the one above my eye. ''I'm sure you'll like it too.
Am I not pretty?'' My laughter drowns the cries of my Ex-bestfriend.
Confession
Sitting together around our family table laden with feasts
All are muttering their thanks
I can't help but miss my mother so I utter
''I'm thankful for my mother for bringing me into this world.''
Silence.
Pin drop silence.
''Don't talk about the dead Sarah.'' My dad scolds me.
Frowning I nod my head but I did bring up my beloved mom again. She loved me but unfortunately she had committed suicide due to depression.
I keep talking about her, my mother and father is getting angrier.
The Turkey arrives and my father being the head takes the knife.
''My mother's Turkey tastes the best.'' I say and that is when my father snaps.
''If you don't be quite I'll hang you up just like I did to your cheating mother.'' He says.
Broken
They look at me with pity in their eyes.
Whispering how my husband abandoned me
How will this widow take care of a new born girl.
She must be so broken they say...
What they don't know is
''We are all broken''
The man with lowest income is broke
The young man with tumor is broke
The cheater's wife is broke
Economically
Hopelessly
Emotionally
They say I'm broke.
All because I sit at my husband's grave and talk to him.
Prologue
I was told that greatest warriors of the realm are not afraid of anything. Not of the drought nor the flood, not the of evil that lurks, not even the ghosts. But were they afraid of dying?
The answer was NO.
Do you ask why? Well it's simple really. They were not afraid of dying because they knew they would come back.
All the enemy you slayed. All the men you put to grave. Each and everyone came back. They were unstoppable. They were mindless and reckless. They were not harmed by the swords.
How do you kill the dead?
I wish I had the answer. I could really use it now. Standing in front of a dead man, shielding my face from his nasty teeth. His smelly breath and rotting flesh making me want to puke. No one there to help me. No one to answer my question.
So could you be kind enough to tell me...
How do you kill the dead?