If we were to scrape

the social glaucoma

what would be our fate?

Into what mess

would we stare

and what might

glance back, our way?

The milky curtain

that clouds

our everyday

is self congealed

with the body falling

in creative disarray

Shielding

the sensory

pathways

from what

is stored away.

19 MAR 2023

The mist shrouded the mountain like a snake that is about to squeeze its prey

At this place, far away from human civilization, I found my nirvana—

fresh air, fresh view, and fresh climb

Trees stretched their fingers towards the azure sky while bees and flies

circled around their trunks, always searching for something,

maybe blossoms that never grew on the branches

I too, am searching for something...

Peace and serenity

Darting around in circles, the swallows performed gymnastics as they rushed upwards, plunged down in neat swoops, and then spiraled into the air

Grey-headed bullfinches sat unperturbedly on flowering bushes and fruit-laden trees

as rain lightly licked their feathers

A bird hopped on its feet and looked at me with curious, black eyes

I stood there, unmoving

A straw-thatched house perched on a grassy slope, its door ajar as if inviting me in From the west, a puff of wind lightly tingled the straw on the roof and dipped its fingers in the sluggish river below

Sheltered by lush plants and friendly animals, I even forgot that this was a tourist site—it was a comfortable home for me

However, my reverie was broken when my mother

and some crazy monkeys stepped in my way

“Smile!” my mother yelled to me as she snapped a picture

of me gaping at the mountain

“Oh mom, you broke the silence!” I complained

“We’re going down the mountain anyway,” she replied

As I descended, I took one last look at the startling Giotto-blue sky

and the swallows that dotted it

But before my we reached the bottom, several monkeys blocked the way

One monkey grabbed my leg and hugged it as if it were a precious piece of banana

Another monkey approached and reached for my floral scarf

I was aware that Mom was probably saving this memory inside her camera

As I detangled out of the monkeys’ reaches, I realized that

I was actually enjoying their presence—

that was until one jumped on my back and tried to rip my hair out

And I also realized that my water bottle in my backpack was gone

As I veered off into the craziness that represents my world,

I stole a moment to just breathe,

took in the magnificent view,

and found peace to take with me

But even with the flowers, trees, and other parts of nature

that I feverishly love so much,

from the safe haven of my backyard to the green spaces of the park,

I felt at peace on this mountain

I rested on the rocky slope overlooking the mountain,

able to gaze out much farther and stand much taller than I typically can

I enjoyed the rough climb upwards because at the apex

I could survey what looked like the whole world

On that mountain, I realized that what captured my heart about the climb is that once I reached my destination, I became part of Nature—

I was in the clouds,

the river flowing below,

the ghostly mist,

the twittering birds,

and the playful monkeys

Drawing ever closer to the

Crematory, my hands

Shook and quaked,

My stomach tightened,

My eyes watered, and

My mind—raced

With images of babies

Engulfed in those

Infernal flames, of

Innocence gripped in

The hands of evil.

My mother, beside me,

Was reticent, for once.

Her face was shrunken

And pained,

Wrecked with

Grief,

Disbelief,

And

Remembrance.

Suddenly, there were

Only a few steps

Before I reached

The pit of doom.

Three more steps.

Two more.

Alas, one more...

I thought of

My little garden.

The passion fruit flowers

Thrived heartily

With everything

In place.

Now, my

Passion fruit flowers

Shriveled up,

My family torn apart,

And my customs

And beliefs all deprived

Of

My bygone days spent

Poring over

Music scores,

Playing on the

Piano,

The giggling and chatting at

Marketplaces with

My friends,

The stately

Family dinners,

And my dream

To become a professional

Pianist

Were all swept

Away.

Inside of me, it was

As if the "merry stream"

That ran

Through was frozen

Or parched, never

Moving again.

Slowly, I forced

My mind to shut

Out the noise of

Our trampling,

The noise of people

Dying, of the

Fiery pit, of

My beating

Heart

And just

Feel

Nothingness,

As if to embrace

Death

Once and for all.

All too soon,

I felt, smelled,

Heard, and

Tasted

Nothingness.

stepmother didn’t like us

and father thought it fair

so they left us in the forest

back to our mother‘s care

she led us to a cottage

built of sugar and of stone

the town called her a witch

but she was really just alone

and so we settled in to the house of spice and bread

Hansel, Gretel, Mother together once again

but as we started growing

independence chafed our skin

we knew that mother loved us

but the forest caged us in

and so we started fighting, kicking at the walls

Hansel, Gretel, Mother doomed to take the fall

and so out we went

back to town we returned

but they called it an escape

and the witch, they said would burn

and all of our pleading fell on deaf ears

blind eyes to the safety that we had for years

disbelief that it was father who left us behind

dooming instead, our mother to die

And that’s how it ended, in tears and cruel laughter

Hansel, Gretel, Mother - never happily ever after

When I fall back, my body falls deep.

Into a relaxing thank you for that extra hour of sleep.

When I spring forward, my body moves slow. My dream was cut off,

it had another hour to go.

If mankind could leave alone what nature put in place.

No one would wake up screaming coffee with a zombie face. LoL

Here I am plotting to invade rock bottom once again and this time I'll go at least I will know to fake and make myself cozy and grim and of course I've been here before but this time there is alot more and I don't know what to do it seems I'm stuck In a loop of being hated by you i tried to fix my self 30 days of no love or support we have alot of shit to sort and another bill to the court but I'll just go under there's not much to plunder and not much that we can fix now

I hate to be blunt 

  But you're a bit of a cunt

Even homie Frankie approves

  Of such a verbal stunt 

And I really hate to pry

  But that sparkle in your eye

Is lit from the booze 

    And your saddle up high

Try not to look down 

  Wearing that cardboard crown

Rock paper scissors 

   Each one will make you frown

I'll just leave out a bunch

  And express my main hunch

You're a cricket among lizards

  Deserving a direct cunt punch

For shits and giggles lol