Picture Perfect
TRIGGER WARNING
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Picture Perfect.
Always smiling.
No way to let out this pain.
No way to fully tell the truth.
Picture Perfect.
Always pretty.
Hairstyles complex,
Name brand shoes flex.
Picture Perfect.
Always sweet.
Never rude, timid, or meek.
Picture Perfect.
Cover Girl.
I've cut so much.
I've cried so hard.
Picture Perfect.
Make it stop!
I don't want to be on top!!
Picture Perfect.
Here I go.
Finally.
I can just...
Let go.
Picture Perfect.
Off the bridge.
Flying through the sky.
Picture Perfect.
Now you know.
I just can't wait to smile again.
Anxiety
TRIGGER WARNING
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I'm THIS close to an anxiety attack.
I don’t know why.
I want to cry,
But I can’t.
The tears won't come.
My heart is pounding
And my chest is heavy.
I feel like I’m dying.
I can't stop shaking.
I feel like I'm vibrating.
My lunch is bubbling in my stomach
As bowling balls roll about,
Threatening to set off a land mine.
I'm THIS close to an anxiety attack.
I don’t know why.
I want to cry,
But I can’t.
The tears won't come.
My skin is burning,
I'm sweating bullets.
I'm uncomfy in my clothing
And feel immigrated to my skin.
I can't hear my thoughs,
The screams are too loud.
My mouth is desert dry,
even water won't help.
I'm THIS close to an anxiety attack.
I don’t know why.
I want to cry,
But I can’t.
The tears won't come.
Please just kill me.
End it all.
My anxiety is heavy,
And I feel SO SMALL.
Please.
I'm THIS close to an anxiety attack.
I don’t know why.
I want to cry,
But I can’t.
The tears won't come.
Her Hurt
TRIGGER WARNING:
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Her hands clutched at her hair as she wheezed and trembled. Stopit~! She internally screamed at herself, her black magic rearing its nasty head from its prison. Her tears turned to blood, black, tentacle-like magic blooming from her heart, beginning to encompass her. Her control dwindled as the darkness took over. She couldn't stop it... Didn't want to stop it. She shook, her gaze becoming obstructed as she was enveloped in the pouring black magic. In that moment, she lost control of herself. When she woke, the bar around her was washed with blood, her form drenched in it. She hurt all over, cuts scattering her wrists and thighs, her own blood pooling at her feet. The room smelled irony and alcoholic.
She could remember nothing of the prior hour.
But her lover could. As he was off in a corner, surrounded by a shield he'd put up to protect himself. He struggled to explain, having little comprehension of what had actually happened.
"Y-you went wild- The man nearest to you losing his head in one fair strike. You were amazingly dangerous. No one survived."
The woman listened in silence, utterly disgusted at herself. Why didn't she show up to stop me-? She wondered to herself, getting off her knees to begin cleaning her bar.
“WOMAN UP!”
This is what my cousin said to me yesterday. We were climbing the stairs to this ride I wanted to go on and the line was really long. Nerves were climbing in all 5 of us as we neared the top and I said, "****, don't let me chicken out." Amd she comes over to me, grabs my shoulders, shakes me, and yells in my face "WOMAN UP." And just like that, the nervousness was gone.
I love my family.
Explanations
I sat on my bed, tears welling in my eyes. What is happening to me? I look up to see my mom come through the door. “Kady?” She looked around my room. “Kadence?!” “Yes mom?” She looked startled and continued to stare around the room. “MICHEAL! KADENCE IS MISSING!” My mom ran out of the room, frantically trying to open her phone. “Micheal!” I followed her down stairs. “Mom! I’m right here!” I said, she turned around, looking for me. “Micheal!” She continued her journey to the kitchen. “Micheal, she’s gone! Kady is gone!” “What?! What do you mean gone?” “I’ve looked all over the house for her, I can’t find her! Her phone is sitting on her night stand and her sheets are messy. She never leaves them that way!” My dad turned on his phone and proceeded to call 911. “Mom! Dad! Listen to me!” They both turned in my direction. “D-did you hear that?” “Yes, Amanda. I did.” My dad hung up the call before he’d gotten an answer. “Kady, where are you?” My dad demanded. “I’m right here! Infront of you!” I warily placed a hand on on his arm, hoping he’d feel it. “Crud. You’re going through it early.” He mumbled, looking to my mom. “She-she’s not-” “Yeah. Yeah she is.” “Um... what are you talking about? What am I going through?” I asked shakily, looking between my parents. “Honey, your going through the morphosion stage. We didn’t expect this till you were almost 18, but, it’s come early.” “W-what’s the morphosion stage?” I asked, tears welling up in my eyes again. “It happens to all those who are of the Avatar species. You’re dad and I.. We’re both half blooded. You have those genes and, well, your going through the same process we did. It’ll only last a day.. But you can’t go anywhere or have anyone over till it’s run it’s course.” “Oh... Okay..”
Guess I’ll be invivivble for the day.. Actually sounds pretty cool.
Empty Mirror-?
“GAH!” I breathed heavily as I sat up. I placed a hand to my chest. “Just another nightmare...” I got up and dressed as I ready for school. I bound down the stairs. “Morning mom!” “Good morning dearie-” She looked around the kitchen, seemingly searching for my voice. “Kadence?” “I’m right here mom! In front of you!” She looked toward me, but like she was looking through me. “Wow.. I must call my doctor. I’m halucinating!” I felt tears jerk in my throat. Halucinating!? I raced up to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see anything. “A-am I dead?! Am I a vampire!??” I ran to my dad’s study. “Father!” He turned around “Yes Ka... dence?” He tilted his head. “Huh, she must be in the other room.” He stood up and walked right through me.
What is happening to me??