Desperation
Desperation is sweat
Pooling at the center of your back.
It's the taste of a bitter saltiness
On your taste buds.
As every inch of your body
Is preparing itself
For ultimate failure
Where fight or flight
Comes into play.
Desperation is collecting
All your will and thoughts
To one task,
Hoping and begging for it to succeed
While looking calm on the outside
Even though the bitter saltiness
Is present on your tongue
As though you ate a salty dark chocolate bar.
Dominance
Desperation, on me, tastes like bile on the back of the tongue,
Constantly dry heaving,
Knowing the worst is yet to come.
And the texture is terrible,
It’s like sandpaper set on fire,
Burning to a flaky crisp,
Squeeling like a set of tires.
And all the while,
There's never enough to drink,
And there’s always ashes in the water.
But you, on the other hand,
Desperation fits like a tight dress,
You're willing to give it all to me,
And that is exactly what I request.
Tell me how much you need me,
And let me taste how badly you do,
I can't get you out of my mind...
I think I'm desperate for you, too.
Taste buds.
It tastes like chrome from the barrel of the gun resting on your tongue tickling your uvula
It tastes like a million microorganisms making a home in every exposed cavity while you claw your way out of the dirt at your funeral
It tastes like salt and grime from the open ocean beneath your bucket you stand in filled with cement the sun above the surface its shimmer teasing you with its blurred smile
It tastes like another humans saliva when your last breath is too late, and they couldn't save you
It tastes like the raindrops falling in your mouth when you took that leap and hit the roof of the parked car slowly inches away from death
It tastes like metallic rolling out of your open mouth the result of her fists again
The taste of despair.
Blood.
Metallic and bitter.
Desperately reaching out for something you can never have.
It stings with the cold slash of a knife. Yet burns with the searing heat of a flame.
You clench your teeth and bite your tongue, knowing even if you scream out it won’t help.
All you will taste is the bitterness of hot blood, created by futile attempts of reaching something never to be gained.
The Desperate Shall Attain
Desperation is when you hit the bottom of your darkest pit with the heavy force of a falling star. Pain has yet to catch up, so it's just you, the bottom, and nothing. Which you soon shall be.
A weakly desperate desire to live beats faintly. It tastes of salty blood on the tongue. Not enough to be unpleasant, but 'give up' unloads the overwhelming salty flavor to shock into action.
Salty turns to bitter pain regained and continues as you reach for the sweet relief of life made all the sweeter by desperate bitter.
Its a little dry
Please try this cake, I spent so many hours making it. No? Oh, umm, please? I know it was rude to take that random picture of you, run away crying when you called me "freind" but hey we all make mistakes. Yours was forgetting to add "girl" before "freind" so we could be girlfreind and girlfreind. An honest oversight I admit, you had me worried that happily ever after was an illusion. LOL. I could tell you agree because your shoulders are so tight.
No, wait, don't read the cake, it's not like I consulted anattorney for spelling out a legally binding contract using frosting and by eating it, you'll be accepting my unrequitted, unprompted affections forever and ever as spelled out in article five section three right by the chocolate swirl. That would be crazy. And I'm not crazy, I'm stable like a room full of horses, baby.
Wait, dont leave, my ex is a body pillow and gets abusive when I use too much fabric softener. Come back... please?
Unkind
It’s easy for others to sit back and say,
“your life’s not that bad, you’re just carried away!”
I mean sure ok?
Well let me fill you in....
Let me get this straight so that I may understand
after all I’m just fresh out of the nuthouse, you may hafta hold my hand!
Greiving the loss of family ten years
then the loss of my dreams in tears
cant go, cant see, and no one visits me.
Hmmm...
In March 2018 three more friends passed away impossible
to get them to stay.
Oh yeah, let me not forget
to live without love, I must also respect.
Maybe they’ll dope me up good enough so that I won’t mind
but it sure is a tough pill to swallow and even more
unkind.
Vyxyn