When did you begin to write?

I have always written. And I don't mean since I started writing the letters of the alphabet or my name or something obvious. I'm talking 7 or 8 years old. It was around the time that I remember I started doing any sort of debating and public speaking that actually made sense. I wrote all of the things I said myself. And there have been many more speeches and logical papers after that.

So the question I want to answer is when I started doing creative writing.

It was in grade 9. I remember I started to write a play, but then some mean senior, in pretense of being interested in my work, acted my play out for me to see how stupid it was. You know all those bracketed details, like (light dims, she exists)? Yeah, I didn't really pay attention to those. So if my character was standing by the door at the start of the entire play and I didn't mention that she moved, this senior remained by the door. They had a good laugh about that one. So I quit and only did creative writing when it was an English assignment.

Anyway, the fact that I'm here right now is pretty much proof that I got over that.

What does writing give back to you?

I hate to say it but I'm going say it. I've achieved many things in my life, and it feels I only care about those things that I've achieved because other people care about those things. What I'm saying is, I've never been scared of failure. When I fail, I personally don't care, I just want to learn and move on. But then what I wind up doing is beating myself up because I know that the people around me, that "believe" in me, would be disappointed. I don't know if you understand what I mean, but yeah, that's it. Writing is that one thing that I can fail and succeed at for myself, and not for other people. And that's what writing gives back to me, the ability to openly not be scared of failure. Then there's the satisfaction when I get it just right. It makes me feel good about myself.

What is your ultimate writing goal?

My ultimate writing goal is to never stop writing. I know how I get with things that are constant, I start wanting out and drowning my mental health in far fetched dreams. I don't want writing to be like that. I don't ever want to stop writing.

My ultimate SMART (specific, measurable, realistic and time-bound) writing goal is to get published, and to be part of turning my books into movies. I love watching the movies of books that I've already read, even though some of the movies suck. And photography is a major interest area for me. So my goal is to one day combine my two major interests and make something great out of it.

Yeah, that's it.

Oh my sweet darling! It is most important to remember that we are not this physical being, rather we are the spiritual being inside.

Your beloved is no longer in that body.

No longer part of this physical realm.

Nothing you can do can bring them back or communicate with them once they are gone.

Exceptions: they can let you know they love you and they are ok by sending you 1butterflies. 2cardinals pecking on your windows.

Love is always the tie that binds, don’t be sad for your beloved has gone to a better place. Be happy. You will see them again.

Let's understand this from the real life examples

My grandma(mom's mom) she is now 85 years old ,

She does not remember things that good now as she used to remember before she forget things pretty fast but when I asked her who was her favourite person she said her grandfather I asked her more about her grandfather she told me everything during our conversation she also told me about how her grandfather died she exactly remembers the day when her grandfather died which clothes he wore on that day what he ate what was his last words how he looked when he died how the funeral happened she remembers everything.

I asked did she feel bad till now she replied yes but said it's life everyone is going to die someday.

My grandmother laugh with us celebrate with us sometimes she becomes the happiest person in the house even if she lost so many people that she treasured ,loved or cared. But she remembers everyone of them all she do is pray for them she feel satisfied when she prays for them this is what she said to me.

Let's come to me now.

My grandmother died a few months ago(father's mom)she patted my head just the day before she died and and prayed for my success and I didn't even shed tears on the day she died I felt sad, bad but I just won't be able to cry I don't know why I won't be able to think properly for the whole day , I couldn't sleep at night but everything become normal as the time passed I still remember everything, the sorrow of loosing is still with me ,

but the life won't stop it goes on and on it's on us how we handle things because everyone is going to loose so many people between the journey of life so it's on us weather to move on and focus on what's left or keep holding what's gone the one who is never coming back

Yes memories will hurt but it's no unique everyone was is and will be facing it so just take a deep breath ,a sweet careless sleep and because so many things are yet to come until we die.

At last one example.

There is a old man who never left a house in 40 years when his grandson asked him why don't you left house in 40 years he replied that he fears from leaving house his grandson asked why didn't you tried to leave the house let's try it nothing will happen his grandfather starts shaking and said that he can't he then said that only if he left his house on the day first second or third day of fear he would be able to leave the house the more he wait the more the fear increase.(I didn't address this situation properly thanks to my little knowledge in English but I guess you will get the Idea what I was trying to say if you don't please tag me)

There's no going back to what it was. When you lose someone you love, something inside of you changes forever. And just like a crumpled up piece of paper never goes back to being perfect again, we'll never be ourselves again, not like before. Because everything that reminds you of them will never look the same. It will bring you joy some days and infinite pain in others. It will bring you to your knees crying and it will make you smile your brightest smile.

There's no formula to grieving and there's no perfect time to heal. Some people never do, even nine, fifteen years later, the wound is still just as open as in day one. And other people will learn how to live with that small piece of them that is now gone, that part of them that only existed when that significant other was there. Me, I'm in between.

You change, and that's the only constant in losing someone you love. And the more you try to go back to what it was, the more you will suffer. They're gone, but their memories are just as alive as they ever were. Even when they start to fade, because time tries to take it all away, we'll always remember what they meant to us. Sometimes, I feel sad because I can't remember what my granddad's voice sounded like, sometimes I cry because I remember how much he loved me and how often he would show it.

I still cry, even with almost ten years to heal, and I have healed plenty. But I don't hate to miss them, my grandpa and my aunt. I love to remember everything that they meant to me in the twelve years we spent together. It hurts, but I don't regret one single day I spent with them.

And that's losing the ones we love.

Are you Happier Than Ever?

Now that we are happily ever never

Are you a Better Man?

Now you are The One That Got Away, Peter Pan?

Who Do You Love now anyway?

Whose Horoscope do you check now everyday?

What girl will next be haunted by the ghost of you

when you walk away and leave your Demons behind too?

Fake Love, got so used to the lies

Bad Habits, now I'm used to my own cries

You broke me down, you see

But someday I'd write and not sign

Love,

me.

*********

Happier than ever - Billie Eilish

Better Man - 5 Seconds of Summer

The One That Got Away - Katy Perry

Peter Pan - Kelsie Ballerini

Who do you love - The Chainsmokers ft 5 Seconds of Summer

Horoscope - Carter Rubin

Demons - Imagine Dragons

Fake Love - BTS

Bad Habits - Ed Sheeran