I can feel the bags under my eyes growing heavy

When you walked out the door I wasn't ready

The moment kills the pride

And like a demon I was born to hide

Standing on a bank of shadows

Listening to your footsteps

I hold in my hand

The very thing

That meant the most

I wore it around my neck everyday

But yours isn't gone it's in your brain

You know love is a treacherous thing

But we cling to it so we can breathe

Hold on to what we have

It's the time of the beast in my head

Frustration begins to seep in my skin

Keeping it in never speaking again

Leverage I once held is drifting away

You're going to do what you want anyway

But the blisters on my hands tell me this line

Even though I'm dead inside I'm still alive

Break the glass of the morning

I look at my reflection and see my story

The book has a few chapters left

But you don't listen to what they've said

Take a second to open your eyes

I'm still here I'm by your side

With your hand in mine

We can take on this world one step at a time

-C.W

Dear god you always told me to hold my head up high

But when the queen of my castle tells me goodbye

I relinquish the rights I have as a man and begin to cry

Never shed the tear in her presence

The rain falling is a beautiful essence

And the moon has a nice crescent

Dear god the life I'm in feels so wrong

Without the love of my life in my arms

It doesn't feel quite like I belong

Turn up the heat and I'll never quit

Freeze my heart and that's still not it

Cut me down and I stand taller

Knock me over and I'll recover

Waiting for you in this depression slumber

You think I'll quit you'll soon discover

I've got more heart than Rocky Balboa

Dear god I put my hands up to give it all to you

To take away the scars and heal my bruise

Pull me together and fix my wounds

Cause this life isn't worth living without you

Dear god I'm only a man with his mind focused on love

I feel the pain since she left and nothing is enough

To release the sorrow in my mind

To fill this void in due time

To make her realize I can change

Show her my heart of steel can actually break

Dear god I'm holding out for her as long as I can

Give me the strength to make her mine again

Open her eyes and let her see

We're simply meant to be.

-C.W

I'm not sure

       What to say

Not looking forward

        To the next day

Pills not helping

        Crush them up

Half fucking empty

        Touch the cup

Sick of this tired of that

        Crawling skin waving bat

Fucking up reckless

        Sick and helpless

Buried alive

        Worlds do collide

Keep on wishing

        Shooting stars

As I'm fishing

        Snagging Mars

Nothing ideal

        It's preposterous

Numb yet I feel

        So lost in this

Thinking about death

        An awful lot

As if my last breath

       Was a blood clott

If life is Broadway

       I'm not a dancer

I'd rather not say

       I think this is cancer

My only conclusion

      Before I'm in the ground

Is to hope for profusion

      My written voice passed down

Daniel

Jacob

Dabney

And

My

Blah

Fucking

Blah

06-24-16

So what is depression?

   Wish I could say

It's a meter attached with

  Aggression

No choice you pay everyday

  Sometimes you can

 Just wake up

Fucked right from the start

And sometimes it can

 Put a heavy strain

On Your heart

You can suddenly cry or

Laugh like a maniac

Or my personal

Favorite the no warning

Panic attack

Sometimes shit can leave

You on the floor

Crying never

 Wanting any more

It’s a Rollercoaster 

Most of the time

Psychological

 Psychical 

Mental 

Pitiful

It’s only there

 To make 

You fuckin 

Hate

Your soul

It's a power you

 Cannot control 

Mind and heart

Usually taking the wheel

And its not very often 

That you can make a deal

Daniel 

       J         

Dabney  

06-17-16

And my fucked up mind 

   I’ll be damned

              Uncle Sam

Take more of my check

As you bump

Up the cost

In our land

Please try to

Help me understand

Why do your

Minions get rich

Yet this disabled

Old man

Is picking up

Empty cans

In a ditch?

Safe to say

Social Security

Doesn’t cover his bills

Or help at all

With his misery

And oh

Did I mention

He’s a veteran?

That step that he’s

Missing is a limp

From defending

A country

Depending

On this man

With a gun

On a ship

Pay attention

You pile of fuck

Worried about your

Gold

We have little children

That

Sleep outside

In the cold

You’re setting

Our youth up

To turn and unfold

This shit is serious

And I am curious

As you

Bury us

Bury us

Does it occur to you

Time will build

A new population

A new world creation

A filled generation

Set To burn down

Our Nation

We are delirious

and furious

And you

Bury us

Bury us!

It will happen

When time

Makes the call

The sun will set

In chaos and

Your reign of

Greed shall fall

Daniel

   J.         06-17-16

Dabney

And

     My

         Fucked

                     Up

                        Mind

Deliberately placing

Yourself into

My thoughts 

Drown your bullshit out

With a few extra shots 

One single glimpse

Of your repugnant face 

Makes me want to

Rinse my own eyes

Out with mace 

In disgust I watch you

Swerve into my lane 

And I just want to

Smash you

With a five ton crane 

Eager to show you

Something of a wrath 

I'm not a damn genius

But I understand the math 

I stand here a man

Heartfelt and sincere 

I'll dumb this Shit down

So you're hearing it clear 

Simplify so your whore mind

Can decipher this fact 

Two minus one equals you

Getting the fuck off my sack 

Hope I can say this

Without sounding like a Dick 

One second with you?

No thanks!

I'd rather be salmonella sick 

I'd prefer embrace the plague

Or develop an engulfing rash 

Than deal with your

No class having

White trash ass 

Taken with a grain of salt

As you're the salt in my grain 

If your skull sheltered a slug

I'd inject salt into your brain 

I could continue to jest

On things I'd rather do 

Such as making you digest

An old hobo shoe 

If I had the rhythm

I'd write you a song 

Regarding the depths of Hell

Where you belong 

All bullshit aside

I wish you the best of luck 

But if I see you out walking

I'll jump the curb in my truck 

Well fuck that was harsh

I take it all back 

I'd feel classier hitting you

In an old Cadillac 

I really don't care if you drop dead and you're Hell bound 

But if you were I'd drop a deuce

6 feet above

Where you're downed 

Daniel 

    Jacob 

Dabney.........

and my fucked up mind 

04-19-16