She's suffering

He's writing

Witty prose about how stifling

He find his summer fling

In Autumn, all beautiful, soft whispering

You're mine, I'm yours, the lying

So easily off the tongue inciting

Dreams in a naive girl--believing

Holding on to nothing

She hates the city--New York in the Spring

An iron cage that's keeping

her within his grasp-trapping

her within him, dying

She's barely breathing

He does nothing

In winter she was his pleasant shining

Sunshine, just a jeweled thing

But New York in the Spring

In the constant raining

the jewel tones are wearing

She's duller than she was in the beginning

He thought she'd shine forever--misleading

Her innocent smiling

Inviting, ever drawing

Him in to her--she's missing

That girl he fell in love with, missing

She is not the same, now drifting

Disappearing

Before his eyes, thinning

Frame and dead eyes, once gleaming

Where is that dreaming

girl he thought of loving?

"I'm dying"

She says to the winds of spring

"Save me please, I'm dying."

He says nothing.

Put her best foot forward

Wore her best dress

Hoping to impress

But her date ignores her

Silent eyes

Cards kept to his vest

So when the night was closing,

Why did she ask him to go inside?

That sinking feeling growing

Hand in hand

He carefully replied:

"Can we meet again in the light of the morning?

Hope you’ll see who I am

In the light of the morning sun."

Here’s to second chances

Let’s raise a glass to masks that fall away

The queen of failed romances

And the quiet boy who never learned to stay

We’re quite the pair now, darling

Broken pieces that don’t fit that well

A fucked up movie starring

A shattered mess

and the boy who never fell

I think I love you broken

Just like you relish all my endless flaws

So many words unspoken

Except those ten that began it all

You get one free ride

and no more.

After that,

it’s more than money

you turn over.

It’s the end of your life

as you know it.

Say hello to your new best friend;

the needle.

And remember:

heroin respects no one.

After The Storm ☔️

As the rain falls heavily, and the mighty wind continues to blow

I feel there has never been a better description

Of pain; my pain

Of sorrow, my sorrow

The waters seem to have been pent-up for ages

Just as my tears have been

And now, they are releasing

Like a mighty flood, they do flow

The thunders and lightenings that seem never-ending

Make me wonder, how long shall this be for?

Will the pain ever go away?

Will the sun ever shine again?

I glance about, just looking at the havoc it has wreaked

Till I catch a whiff of the fragrance of the waters hitting grass

It sends a new sensation down my battered heart

I notice the heavy rain washing away the debris

And the grass drinking happily away

Perhaps, this sudden storm is the breakthrough everyone needed

The breakthrough I needed

For it is said that out of the sadness of the countenance, the heart is made better

Come to think of it,

My heart does feel better

A smile replaces the frown,

Just as the sun will shine after the storm

And I lift up my hands to JESUS

And bless HIS Name forever more

I'm terrified to be alone.

I think all the time about my future, and if I'll have someone to share it with.

I get scared that I'm going to be lonely.

That I'll get my degree and work in a nice hospital, but I'll come home to an empty house.

I'll sleep in an empty bed.

I'll never have someone to hold me.

Or share my life with.

It's scary, because I already feel alone and lonely sometimes.

It's this endless cycle of thoughts that I can't break. It's that one fear that you can't escape.

Everyone has one.

And that's mine.

That I'll be alone.

At the peak of being grown all on your own,

there is no sense in the moan,

cause hey, you are almost grown.

Take life as it is, know that it's a hustle.

Work to build the best you, don't stop the bustle.

Listen to your elders and learn how to survive.

Stay away from street hustlers if you want to stay alive.

Start your new job with excitement and energy.

Companies will notice your genius epiphany.

Respect all that helped you succeed.

Grind for your own, you will never be in need.

At the peak of being grown,

and it's the end of the day.

You can pat yourself on the back.

Because you have paved your way.

@Luthien Happy Birthday:)

i was cast aside

a broken fishing rod that never

cast its line

forever a bundle

of tangled string and metal.

i could never catch a fish.

i was broken and damaged

prepared to fall apart

good for nothing else

other than to play my part;

doomed from the start.

my mind was a marriage

of dysfunctional mirages,

flickering images of happiness

that left too soon

and were never real.

i could never feel the way they did.

cast out,

a fishing line tossed to the wind

only to blow away like an untethered kite

and find a home in the trees

torn apart by cruel branches.

cast out,

a stowaway on a stolen ship

waiting to crash

a castaway

on the island of my thoughts.

cast out

like a cast iron stove,

no longer efficient enough

for hungry mouths and greedy bodies.

not safe enough to protect sensitive fingers.

it's only a matter of time until i'll fail you.

I'm holding on to a love of yesterday.

A love so strong, I thought it would never fade away.

A memory of a partnership that was joined between two.

A sudden wind with a fragrance reminded me of the who.

This feeling that sinks into my soul, is a rapid reminder in my mind.

This memory of yesterday haunts me, wraps me in bundles like twine.

I want to be awakened early one day and notice that the love has faded away.

"don't look at me like that,"

"you just hurt my heart and now it's difficult for me to breathe, how do you expect me to look at you?"

"i didn't want to hurt you, i never did. but i couldn't keep pretending, that wouldn't have been fair."

"wait. keep pretending? meaning you've been pretending for a while?"

"i just didn't know how to tell you, this is difficult for me too,"

"difficult for you? you just told me that you don't love me anymore. how can this be difficult for you when you still have the love i have for you? i lost that apparently."

"that's not true, i do love you. i just don't think i'm in love wi-"

"don't finish that sentence. god, please do not finish that sentence."

"im so sorry, i hate that this is hurting you so bad,"

"yeah well, i'm sorry that i wasn't enough,"

"stop. don't say stuff like that. you're everything and more, i just don't feel-"

"enough! stop telling me what you no longer feel because each time you say it, it hurts more than the last,"

"i don't know what else to say!"

"you've said enough,"

"so then what now?"

"i leave,"

"wait like, for good?"

"i think so."

Oh, that is so hard,

to love once more,

when love has escaped,

gone into the shadows,

and refusing to feel the heat,

the ever-constant light of the sun,

shining down upon such emotion unbridled,

unfurled, so open,

so raw, yet so honest,

so bare … so noble.

But that is for the young,

the strong, the daring,

the brave and relentless.

Once upon a time,

that was me.

Now ever old, slow,

and in the end,

without much hope

to find or rekindle that word:

love.

It is buried and lives in shadows.

The young have no idea what awaits them.

How sad.

How utterly sad.