If I wrote one, who would I address it to?

Without them thinking, "they're doing it to get back at you."

I don't want to cause attitudes, I don't want to break hearts

I just want them to understand why I decided that mine should no longer start

Would they even be mad? Or would they feel validated?

Think that they're important because their name was stated?

Should I even give this evil a name?

Tell them that they could have stopped it, and give them all the blame?

I could never, I know better.

I know that this weight is only mine to carry.

I can't leave them with anything other than an explanation

I shouldn't leave little fingers sprawled on paper in between letters

Singling them out, saying that they should've done better

That'd be a bit hypocritical, considering my position

The last thing I'd ever do it for is attention

So maybe that route isn't mine to take

Maybe I should make the death look like a mistake

Because a note is left when you have someone to leave behind

And no one's been keeping up with me for a long, long time

I'd rather not delay the inevitable with something so fragile

It's usually the bravest soldiers who die alone in battle

Truth is, I miss you

Sometimes I have to catch myself, so close to calling you something else

It rolls off the tongue so easily after a while

It's freeing... I mean, I've never been so open with another person

When everyone around me is stuck on the surface

I never believe it when people tell me they love me

I never doubt it when I find out they judged me

I never understood that ex shit

It never made sense to me how they'd keep in touch after the break up but...

I do now and I wish I didn't

Wish I was still caught up in the blissful ignorance

I wonder if it's worth the risk, to tell you all of this

Or if I'm just.. 

Desperate, clinging to something less than this

This... this feeling, so hollow yet the way it makes my heart sink...

Damn...

I realize how selfish how I am

I'm so close..

I'm so close to ending it...

Seems silly to make a note like this, doesn't it?

It won't change anything, will it?

Maybe I'm just trying to process my feelings

Maybe I'll never send it

All the signs are leading me against it

Who cares?

Fuck that shit, keep that shit tucked in

He doesn't want to know

Don't let him know

Nah, don't let it show

Bitch don't be slow

Let it go

Oh

Okay

So....

WYD?

I'd do anything, just to be alone with you

Baby, I'm your bed time marionette

You turn my body blue, with shades of symphonic lust

I can't imagine a world without your touch

If it's wrong what I want, I want to be wrong so bad

How can it be that I'm so elated to be so sad?!

I feel you pull the strings, tighten me with anxiety

Thought I knew what I'd gotten into, but yet

The controls slam together, vibrating in my cheeks

Lift the curtain, lift the curtain for me please

I won't miss my cue, if only for you

For you, I'd do anything

Oh, for you

For you

For you I'd do anything

All is quiet, all is still

all the silence, it kills,

it kills

watching the clock as time passes away,

fighting to stay, fighting to stay 

thoughts swirling around in my head

creating a blizzard so cold, it numbs me

I can’t breathe, lost in a myriad of unrealized dreams

the tears flow slowly, in a steady stream

I’ll never let you get close 

I’ll never let you in

I’ll never give you the satisfaction

Of getting under my skin

I’ll never show you the pain

You’ll never see the scars

I won’t even be surprised

When you reveal who you really are

No matter how many people remember your name

You won't live forever cause memories fade

Start making a difference, and creating a change

Make the world a better place, don't do it for the fame

The power is in us, it just needs to be tapped

With inspiration, and motivation, and a few good laps

Around the track of resistance, and blazing persistence 

Sure the road is long, cause it was made to go the distance

If you believe you can't reach the end, just take a couple steps

Keep going and going, left right left, keep going and going, and believe in yourself

Be your own fan, chase your own dreams, these trails in life are not as hard as they seem

Take a leap of faith, spread your wings and fly, the worst failure in life, is to never even try

By race and religion, we are torn apart, this continuous division, has worn my hearts

You are more than the clothes that you wear, the color of your skin, or the texture of your hair

Let's face it, life will never be fair, the most you can do is try and get from here to there

We all have a purpose, a destiny, a reason to breathe

That is one of the many things in which I believe

Other people can push you, but you have to take the lead

No other person has control of your two feet

Reach over and stretch out, bend your knees

And take off for life that was meant to succeed

i see the world from the outside in

every flaw from within seeps out and sticks to my skin

my body is a canvas, and my mind is the pen

true art is never interpreted, the way that we intend

for an understanding, we are hoping to gain

to find someone who gets it, who knows the pain

and this you may come across, not exactly as you'd imagined

because two sets of eyes don't see the world quite the same

My nerves are building

All of this energy

Gathering inside of me with no release

My hands are shaking

All of these worries

Keeping me from achieving peace

I'm bothered.

Disturbed

To the point that I can't sleep

And it's so damn hard to think

When all of your thoughts are dark

There's nothing worth seeing

Cause behind closed eyes

You aren't believing

I see the miracle

I feel it coming

But when I close my eyes I see myself running

From it all

And there are days when I feind

For a hit or a drip

Maybe a few shots of alcohol

To distract me from the chaos

But it's all in my head

So there's no real escape

I can't get away from myself

I crave silence

Above everything else

The mirror even lies to the eyes sometimes

With all the fake stuff I see, I might as well be blind

The struggle, the pain, it's all being hidden

This world is full of girls who are slowly forgetting

How to be themselves and stand out from the crowd

But being just like Barbie is the big thing now

Then again, how can you remember something that you were never taught?

It seems like priceless things, are never bought

They say that the best things in life are free, but you get what you pay for

Pollution in your head, gotcha thinking that you'd be better off dead

If you could buy back a life, it's a guarantee that I would pay more

There's people dying everyday, hoping that they'll make a change

But as the death toll is rising, folks are staying the same

This life has turned into a roller coaster

Spiraling down into the depths of Hell

I can't even look up to Him for help

I'm so ashamed, where is my life headed y'all?

Nowhere, just stuck in a frame dangling from an empty wall

That I've built in defense from the outside world

Too afraid to let my true self out, there's an annex in my heart

Where my feelings keep hiding and writing in their diaries

Unsent letters addressed to my mouth, but they never get delivered

Because of the interference from my mind, sending signals that warn me

Not to express what I really feel, they'll just scorn me

So lost within myself, I'm being mislead by the thoughts in my head

It feels like only yesterday that my heart gave out

And my dreams were shattered , my soul left without 

The guidance of love, peace, and joy

But instead filled with anger and hatred, all hope destroyed

My logical side knows that it's really been nine years

Since my spirit dug a shallow ditch and filled it with desolate tears