I thought I was done with you. I worked tirelessly from the day you left me to move past it, all the while a small piece of my heart tugged me back to you.

I thought I was in the clear.

I thought I had finally removed all the traces of love that once filled my heart and mind.

I was as happy as a lonely person can be.

I had moved on.

And then I saw you.

How cliche that it was across a crowded room.

Everything that I had repressed and suppressed came bubbling back to the surface, my emotions turbulent like boiling water.

In that instant, I relapsed.

#love #depression #sadness

The other night I went out with some friends.

My brother arrived at our friend's house at eleven at night laden with our lenses and cameras with which we planned to observe the heavens.

Our other friend arrived around the same time and with our gear in hand the four of us headed for the door. We walked out of the neighborhood and turned into the dark path that led into the cornfields around the area.

We walked for about ten minutes until we finally reached a huge clearing.

There was a single tree in the center. It stood stoically in solitude.

We set up our tripods and the telescope we brought and we sat back and watched.

It was cold that night. We were all bundled up in scarves and gloves.

Our toes were cold but our hearts were warm.

Around one in the morning the most brilliant and amazing thing happened.

We were all staring at the sky in silence when a shooting star passed over us.

We were in shock an awe.

For the next hour or so shooting stars graced us with their beauty.

I remember out of the twenty or so that visited us that night, I only saw one.

For some reason or another, I was always turned away.

However, at one point I was staring up when one passed over.

A single shooting star.

My heart soared.

It made me deleriously happy.

My companions and I eventually retired to the house where we drank hot chocolate and ate cookies and reflected on the universe.

Needless to say I didn't sleep that night.

I had work early the next morning but I didn't care.

What mattered, I realised, was here and now.

All the next day I thought about that star.

The single one that the universe allowed me to see.

And I realised something.

Shooting stars are like people.

They are bright and brilliant.

They come and go quickly.

But, the special ones stay with you forever.

In your thoughts and in your heart.

I realised I loved my girlfriend more than the world that night.

I realised she was like a shooting star.

Beautiful and brilliant.

Unique and special.

Like a shooting star, she'll never visit the earth again.

She is my shooting star.

My one and only.

Single

Shooting star.

To my Jasmine

I began the year with depresison.

I have every year for years.

Without friends.

Distanced from my faimily.

Work my only friend.

And then you showed up.

You shook me up.

You turned my life upside down.

It went from gray-scale to vibrantly colourful in a matter of weeks.

You changed me.

You gave me be a new perspective on life.

I fell in love for the first time.

My year flew past.

It was a flurry of happy moments and love and conflict and resolution.

It was almost perfect.

Almost as nothing is ever perfect.

Fall arrived.

You were so stressed.

I pushed and you ran.

I loved and you turned away.

You left me.

It was miscommunication.

You were unwilling to try again.

You dropped what had blossomed and bloomed.

It was mendable.

It wasn't to you.

I became the optimist.

You became the pessemist.

I faded away again.

Into the background where I had begun

The most intesnse and wonderful experience in my life.

It left me broken.

Fall faded into winter.

Everything was grey.

The weather mirrored my mood.

Snow piled up as I shut everything out.

And then the year was over.

The happiest year of my life.

And the saddest.

@justaperson

I start my day with you; I end my day with you.

You are like the sunshine casting shadows on the earth, brilliant and bright by day;

Like the moon, cool and soft by night.

I am like a moth to a flame.

When I'm with you, the world fades away.

All I see is you.

Your touch takes my breath away.

I drown in your smell.

You fill a hole in my life like no one else has.

You saved me from depression; you cured me of pessimism.

When I was lost, you were my map.

My light.

I love you.

More than the world.

More than life itself.

You fufill and complete me.

I'd rather die than see you taken away from me.

I'll fight for you.

Forever and always.

For my Jasmine.

He stared defiantly into the man’s crazed eyes. The rest of the class watched in horror and fear.

“You’ll have to kill me first.” The boy said. His arms were stretched out wide from his body, as if he was trying to fly. He stood in front of a girl around his age. She was cowering behind him, the fear evident in her eyes. She was backed against the wall, her arms pulled tightly to her chest.

“Apollo,” She whispered. “Please…” Her voice trailed off. The boys form wavered slightly. However, he did not move from his position, for he was determined to protect her. The crazed man watched the exchange, happiness showing in his cloudy eyes.

“Well,” The crazed man said his voice soft. He was smiling. That was the terrifying part. Every single one of his crooked, yellowing teeth looked threatening. The man lifted his gun to the boys head.

“I guess I’ll have to kill you then.” The girl let out a squeal. Her body was shaking. The magnitude of the situation making her unstable on her feet.

She slowly tumbled forward towards the boy in front of her. The rest of the class still stared on. Many people had managed to pull their phones out. The police department received many hushed, fearful calls through a short period of about two minutes. The girl slowly wrapped her arms around the boy. She was still behind him, but she still felt him relax at her touch.

“If we fall…” she whispered in his ear, “we fall together.” No one else heard the exchange. Not even the crazed gunman that was watching intently, as if enjoying dragging it out. He had lowered his gun slightly while he was watching. It was almost a subconscious act, but it didn’t go unnoticed to the boy standing at gunpoint.

“Nina……” the boy started, but he was too choked up to continue. “I…. I love you.” The girl’s eyes widened at the sudden confession. But she didn’t back away. In fact, she pulled closer.

“Apollo,” the girl said, dragging out each syllable on her tongue, as if trying to catch it, and not let it escape her lips. “I love you too.” The boys slight not was all she needed. The boy suddenly turned around, and pulled her into him. They phased into one. It lasted for only a few seconds, but it was loving, and desperate. When they pulled apart, there were tears in the boy’s intriguing hazel eyes.

“I love you Nina. Don’t ever forget that. Ok?” He asked. The girl was shaking. No, no. She thought.

“No,” she said out loud. The boy looked confused for a second but before he could speak, the girl continued.

“What are you talking about forgetting?” She asked, desperately. “Please…. No. You have to stay with me.” The boy smiled. It was a sad, excruciating smile.

“I’m sorry.” The boy said. They were completing oblivious to the gunman and their class watching. But the gunman was getting impatient. As the gunman raised his gun again, the boy said his final words.

“Just promise me one thing.” The girl was tearing up at this point, despair in her wild blue eyes. She nodded. “I’ll never stop loving you. Don’t forget me. Live.” And with that, he turned around and stared death in the face. Then the boy directly addressed the gunman.

“I have accepted death. I am no longer afraid. So therefore, as long as I am still living and breathing, I will never let you hurt anyone.” His eyes quickly flicked behind him. The girl was silently crying, still holding on to him tightly. “If I must die, then so be it. I die with my head high. I’ll never let you harm Nina…” The boy trailed off slightly. Then he continued more quietly, but his words were as clear as crystal.

“My Nina” The gunman smiled his crazed smile at the display of defiance. The gunman despised one thing above others. That was love. So when he saw this display, he wanted to see it through. It would be more enjoyable to violently tear apart. The way they would scream….

The crazed man only lusted after one thing. And that was death. So as his finger squeezed the trigger, he had no regrets.

A shot rang out across the school ground. Then there was silence. Nothing.

A heart. Battered and broken. A body, beaten and destroyed. Darkness. Emptiness.

A person. Just a shell of what was previously there.

Broken and alone. No one is there. They all left you.

Everyone you loved. All gone. There is nothing inside you.

Everything that was there, the vibrant colors, the sparkling clarity, gone.  With everyone you loved.

You look down. The water cold and threatening, hundreds of feet below.

You feel the wind in your hair. The cold air on your face. 

Suddenly, everything is perfectly clear. You are alone. It's time to end it.

You take the step. The ground falls away beneath.

"It's time," you whisper. Your last breath. Then, you hit the water.

It's over in an instant. All the emptiness. It's gone with your life. Everything is peaceful. Tranquil.

Serene.