Verbal Abuse
Your words are no clearer when you scream.
Your point is no sharper when you shout.
And when your eyes are holding that gleam
all I want is to turn and walk my way out.
The funny thing is I wasn’t arguing with you
I had no intention of starting this fight
my only mistake was keeping my claims true
when all you wanted was to hear you’re right.
And when I’m sitting there seeing hysterics
because we’ve veered a little off course
at this point the charade is only generic
when you steer as you shriek yourself hoarse.
And I’ve done my best through these years
to reach some high point where I’ll meet
the demands that I’ve fought for with tears
through the sweltering of your anger’s heat.
But I’m tired now, it’s been too long for
me to keep living in this crushing way
and I’ve realized what you’ve done with your
jamming my feelings, belittling them away.
A part of me is stunted, maybe it will heal
or maybe not – but ultimately I now see
I’ve worked out a new way, a new deal
wherein I’ll focus on me being free.
I love you – I’ll always love you, no matter
the cost, but I have to save myself before
what’s left of me falls to the ground to shatter
and I can’t keep living for you anymore.
And in the end I must say I am sorry
that I never managed to step in and satisfy
your needs so that you would be happy
and your wants I could never fully gratify.
But you’ve taught me something, really
to be level-headed, to keep myself grounded
when things get tougher – I become steely
from all the times your words have pounded.
You’ve equipped me fully to keep my feet
firmly planted on the ground and to know
things aren’t black and white and to greet
each difference and obstacle with a show
of understanding.
You see I’ve learned from you
and in the end I have joy
In knowing that I -
I will never -
be you.
Sunset
It was cold, and getting colder. The temperature hovered just above freezing, but didn’t feel like it. I was all decked in knitted goods: hat, hand warmers, a scarf around my nose. I would move the scarf to take a sip of cocoa and then pull it back up again before I wound up like Rudolf.
The house had heating. The house was cozy and full of abandoned fleeces waiting to be picked up. I could have gone in, but I didn’t. It was worth the cold because of the horizon. The snow, unblemished by feet, was pristine. The sun painted the sky first in pink, then in gold, and then orange and red, ever darkening. The colors reflected off of the whiteness in subtle hints and hues. The clouds gave it all dimension, soaking up the rays with their fluffy underbellies.
I suppose this would be the part where I pick up a camera and snap pictures. The part where I try to cement the memory with cheap knockoffs. But sometimes you just have to enjoy the little things, the short things, while they last. Sometimes you should let them happen and admire them while they do, and let them pass with grace when it’s time for them to go.
And so I watched, motionless, as the sun glided down from on high and artfully painted the sky.
Dear Universe, My Best Friend Needs an Apartment.
Hi Uni,
My baby needs her best nest.
Are you available to help?
Uni Buddha laughs
We know.
Just give us a sec.
I say uni, she's the brightest star I've met in this life.
You will always care for her right?
Uni says yes, always.
Have you seen how she soars?
Grace is written on her chest.
A soul in the door.
I say I mean DUH
I know YOU know who she is and what she deserves
And this praying is somewhat absurd.
But I must shoot this love somewhere it's just too much to hold in
Uni says good child
Let it fly like a deep three for the win!
I say ok good cause baby needs best home you got
And we really are under the wire.
Uni says
You know she loves testing her powers.
Under the wire is good it fuels her fire!
I say ok I feel good then.
Uni says now go be the birds on the wire.
Sing your freedom song
You two know it best in c minor.
I say I promise we will sing forever, I'm surely not gonna get any shyer.
Uni says apartments are one thing But the people are ready now.
Turn your attention towards understanding the creation of fire.