Always caught up in the why

I am trodden upon by my

own emotional feet

that clumsily stumbles

through minefields of drama

Lost in darkness

flailing about aimlessly

reaching for that solid

piece of fluidity of

emotions that can anchor me

But there is a brightness,

that sheds light on

the path of consciousness

bringing me out of this

stupor that has engulfed

the vastness of my focus

And brings a horizon,

like the sun to the sky,

to my life from the

deepest emotions

lighting my darkness

.

thunder has struck me

thunder has blurred my lines

I did not see the storm

nor have I felt the rain on my skin

the wind did not blow through my bones

but the earthquake has swallowed me up

all those years have passed

and without feeling anything under my fingers

still

I got burned by the fire

without ever walking on the grass

still

I smell it from underneath

the dirt covered me . ground eating me whole

through decades I still have not reached

can’t climb out

from something that never was

but still felt lost

.

Frustration building,

Crackling like static under my skin

Tears flowing from mocha eyes,

Birthed from containing rage inside

Anger steadily mounting,

A violent storm brewing

Always keeping my mouth shut,

My lips locked tight

I fear that someday,

All the lightning and thunder

Will break free,

Pouring down in wrathful reign

I try to calm such feelings,

Stop them from ever bursting,

But, there are days

Where I simply long to scream

Everything, all the anger

And ugliness within,

Erupting for all to see

The eye of the storm,

Revealed

IN our efforts to force our concept of

GOD onto other people’s children in sacred public places of learning

WE are actually signalling to our political base rather than serving God by example. We

TRUST that our efforts to indoctrinate children of the establishment clause will go

unpunished by our religious privileges.

#atheism #awareness #keepingodwetrustoutofpublicschools

am i enough

is this a dream

is this a living-breathing nightmare that wont stop

i don’t want to wake up, i don’t want to breathe

i dont want to live

As I walk onto the campus,

Their words ring in my ears,

These are the best years of your life.

The first year I was new,

Too unsure to make new friends.

I'd let them come to me,

and when they didn't,

I'd just pretend.

The second year just came and went,

Passing all my classes.

I gained some friends that year though,

Thanks to my good grades and my glasses.

Junior year was hard,

Just like the seniors said,

When I get home,

I do my homework, do my chores,

Then I die in bed.

My last year was full of promise,

Looking to the future!

But then I look at all the scars,

That I got that in that short while.

So, I sigh.

As I walk onto the campus,

Their words ring in my ears anew,

Enjoy yourself,

These are the best years of your life.

#school

Today

and yesterday

and the day before

I buried

that son of a bitch

for the third time

but he wouldn’t

stay buried

he kept rising

to the surface

little droplets

of sanguine reminders

seeping out

and torturing

my soul.

But this time,

would be

the last time,

as I tied

cement blocks

to ropes

and pitched

him overboard.

As I watched

the rope unwind

taking him with it

I became entangled

in the knots

becoming bound

with him

in salty brine

for eternity.

My mind lies somewhere at the bottom,

A jumble of disconnected pieces

The edges, slivers of jagged silver,

Too misshapen to form back together

There, the fragments rest,

Glimpses of more cheerful times,

Memories long since laid to rest

A swirling pit of despair,

A vortex brewed from fear,

A cage to warp all the sanity left

My mind lies somewhere at the bottom,

A jumble of disconnected pieces

That can never be put back together

Yesterday, today, tomorrow,

I find her perfectly preserved

and waiting for me

in a world under my finger,

just outside my grasp,

so close that I know

this will be the moment

that I finally touch her.

This will be the moment

that my grey eyes

joyfully drowning in blue light

finally see her love,

real and raw and warm,

instead of an oh-so-realistic

pixelation of the truth -

the mirage I always mistake

for honesty until

that very last moment

when I realize my finger,

starved for touch,

cannot extend,

no matter how desperately it reaches,

through shatterproof glass

to touch her wings

on the other side.