I’ve loved the sun, and the moon.

I’ve felt the kiss of sunlights warmth upon my skin, and the chill of the moons unblinking gaze down my bare back as I tread the oceans of uncertainty.

My skin may burn, yet I feel no pain. My heart may freeze, but never shatter. Why have I been allowed to walk the line for this many years, why am I manifesting a destiny I’m unprepared to face?

I am the sun, blonde hair cascading down my back, freckled skin shimmering in the hazy midday glow. I’m not the moon. But can I ever appreciate my own light, without darkness?

I typed out the text

But I didn’t hit send

We don’t need to speak

While she’s in your bed

I guess I could’ve left a message at the tone

But Ive never been any good at leaving well enough alone

When your lies are so pretty

Who needs the truth

I won’t waste my time making an honest man

Of you

You call me twice around midnight but you know I won’t pick up

We’ll just start another stupid fight and pretend it’s not about love

We think we’ve got it right

But baby it shouldn’t feel like this, every night

If these walls could speak,

The stories they would tell,

Friendships come and gone,

Lovers just as well.

So much of myself reflected

Over a decade of thoughts laid bare

It’s hard to imagine when I wake up on Sunday

This world will not be there.

I know I’m on to important things

Actively choosing the path I walk

But I think I’ll always be humming the tune

Of these walls that could talk

She played her violin to the

aeolian sounds

as the wolves came out to listen.

in darkness they howled

to her dulcet tones

under the moonlight's glisten.

It had been several days since the warmth of the sun had graced my cold aching body. My boots, thick with mud and reluctance, unrooted me and with a gentle urgency, pushed me forward. Vines caressed my waist as I waded through the murky water, god forgive me for imagining the tight squeeze of a boa as a means to end this expedition.

X

We’d schlepped from muddy bank to muddy bank, taunting fate as we went. We were wild, carefree, invincible, only four short days ago.

He never saw the snake. He never felt a thing. Carried on just as he would, until the convulsions.

I’d never seen someone crumple like that. Like a piece of paper crushed in a child’s hand and tossed across a classroom. Like he could fold if the wind blew the wrong way. I did what I could. I think I did what I could. Whatever I did, had to be enough. We were in the Amazon for the love of god, do you know how long rescue missions take out there? Weeks. And if you haven’t already died of your wounds, get ready for dehydration, starvation, malaria, dengue, oh and the fucking snakes! Just you wait, they’ll come.

How much I would give,

To be the rain upon your skin,

The duvet held tight to your chest,

The well worn paperback in your bag.

Or perhaps the endless inky stories you spill

On fresh parchment

How much did I give,

To be yours

Puddled on my dream’s glass lens

Pools of mystic condensate

Seven suns of witness when 

Time will cease in mankind’s fate:

Sunlight waned to dusk in day

White, waxing moon, shadows’ eclipse

Darkness covered Earth with gray

For every man grew envious

Crowned atop a thrown of azure

Sun’s kingdom spread endlessly 

Cloudless, skies shared not his treasure

For every man was ruled by greed

Lapis lakes of crimson red  

Molten lava cracked Earth’s crust 

Tidal waves, impassioned, bled  

For every man burned in his lust

Eve’ eclipsed in Sun’s embrace 

Burning, boiled the white-hot bath 

Fire covered moonlight’s face 

For every man seethed in his wrath  

Sun grew great; its zenith reached 

As moonlight humbled ocean tides 

Eye’s wide shut; Sun’s hubris peaked

For every man was blind to pride 

Falling on Horizon’s shore 

Moved by nothing, Dawn lay lost

Sun was gone forevermore

For every man did not as sloths 

Onyx seas lacked ocean’s blue

Caught in nets of cumulus 

East to west, no sun in view

For every man drowned, glutinous

****

photo credit: Mike Woodwart