I wish
I wish that one day I will no longer shake and cry at change
I wish that one day I will finally understand my own mind
I wish that one day I won’t worry about so many “what ifs”
I wish that one day I can smile and truly be happy
I wish that one day I can look at someone and see the good in them
I wish that one day I can look at a room and not see the exit and think the worst
I wish that one day my mind won’t go off track every other thought
I wish that one day I can understand that people actually like me
I wish that one day I can understand that I am not disliked by all
I wish that one day I can understand that I am loved and cared for
I wish that one day I can enjoy my mind, rather than be afraid
I wish that one day my mind will no longer be a confounding puzzle
i wish
i look out these
tear-streaked windows
and wish i could stop yearning
for a better life.
i wish i could smile at them
and mean it.
i wish i could enjoy this
amazing life of mine.
eat ice cream minus the shame.
dance crazily without feeling embarrassed.
wear what i want and not be defined by it.
be who i am
without being judged.
but i can’t.
i feel ashamed eating all those calories,
i never dance at parties,
and i wear what i think is acceptable.
at night,
i bury myself in my
bruised blue-and-grey sheets
and wish that i didn’t wish
to be gone.
To much or to little ?
To many nights without sleep
To many times crying for what will never be
To many prays did my lips scream
To many broken and unwanted dreams
I was hoping,praying, and wishing you’d come back to me.
Guess that’s a just another tragedy on a heart that bleeds for what it can not be
Sensations.
The chilly breezes of Russia chilling me the bone.
The northern lights appearing fuzzy through my tear stained eyes.
The comforting embrace of water from the Niagra Falls enveloping me.
The crackling warmth from Antartica fires.
The faint cooing of the wild birds of Sahara.
The ear piercing trumpets ans saxophones of dazzling New Orleans streets.
The overwhelming stench of Swiss cheese.
The velvety Brazil coffee melting in my mouth.
All these sensations i dream of
all these sensations are some of my loftiest wishes
and all these sensations i will feel
before the soft sound sleep of death
finally embraces me.
09/21/18
The perfect around the corner is always greener
There are times that I wish,
That for one time in my life
I will know something perfect,
Something that has no drawback.
I hope to do a thing,
It seems a perfect setup,
But there is always that
Fly in the ointment.
Something must not work right.
Something's got to burn.
What is that fly doing there?
Why must everything end ,
End tragically, end disappointingly.
Couldn’t we all just catch a break.
Couldn’t eating the cake
not remove from whole.
But everything comes at a cost.
This rule of life we must not forget.
By getting perfection,
We would remove some base outcome.
How about all those lovers of flies,
They’ll raise a row about their txtureless cream.
My perfection will take from them,
Just as their satisfaction, detracts from mine.
Perhaps the only truth is that there is no perfection,
But it could be that a perfection does exist,
Giving us all a headache..