My bedroom is full of relics.

From house to house, room to room, I've carried pieces of the past into every new stage of my life. To my left, a collection of jewelry and clothing built upon my shifting interests throughout the years. There's a framed puzzle I found at an antique store that depicts a bejeweled maiden lying comfortably between a lion and lionness. To my right, a collection of abstract art pieces from elementary school, and some feathers I'd collected from the grounds of places I've been.

In front of me, a painting my husband has owned for years. My mother thinks it's ugly, but he and I both find it quite appealing. The bed I sit on as I type is an antique from his side of the family. He thinks it's ugly, but my mother and I both find it quite appealing.

There is a comfort in carrying the familiar with us. In the turblence of change, it helps to know that there are some constants, even if they are few.

You’re the queen

And I’m the wretch

You’re the moon

And I’m not rich

You’re too much for me

Even though you’re just–

Blood and flesh.

#thetruereality #ispricetag

Irma winks with hurricane eyes,

breathing fury crashing on sands.

Savagery of waves pounding,

nature destroying nature,

tangling Florida without reason -

a monster betraying our trust

tattooing tattered shores.

Unstable eyes of angry tempests

bleeding tears upon our beaches,

lightning punching in fury,

wavering sky threatening to swallow -

all in death refrain of a hangman,

forcing residents to forsake homes,

trembling limbs beset by carnage.

Gusts tossing screaming palms,

onyx gales strangling souls.

Life as we know it cast aside

as birds fly lifeless in raging sky,

trust betrayed by exploding thunder

leaving stairs leading nowhere.

Treacherous cobalt sky vents anger -

bloody aftermath of crimson rain.

Ambushed light laments and moans

as white witch leaves calling card

of tumbled loss and heartache.

Please stretch out your arms

to welcome me home

to my sacred place, unscathed

when storm’s wrath

and destruction is expended.

I beg to return once more

to my cherished cottage

by unspoiled seaside sand.

When friends ask I say I’m doing fine,

Then I shrug them off with a smile,

It’s been months we haven’t talked,

I still hear your voice when I’m stargazing

I still hear your voice over the sea breeze and the waterfall.

Life is so hard without you,

I thought I’d cheat it all,

Act like I don’t care,

Act like I’ve moved on,

I fall and can't crawl

It ain’t easy!!

It’s no ABC or 123 that I’d recite in my sleep.

It ain’t easy!!

You haunt my dreams during the day and at night,

It ain’t easy!!

You rape my thoughts

And cripple my delicate heart 

It ain’t easy!!

Your ghost is always in the room mocking me,

The loud music never helps,

Neither do the drugs,

Everything just seems to remind me of you

I don’t want to acknowledge the fact that I’m not over you.

I may have stirred the pot a bit

Even messed it up a tad

But it needed some extra ingredients

New flavours for the mix

So I added some more colour

I wasn't picky or fussy

Some different textures too

& then just a dash of spices

To give it a real good kick

I threw it all together

Gave it another good stir

Some people weren't too happy

Because I'm cooking up a storm

It frightens them

Angers them

But that's not my concern 

This dish is bold, different 

& yes, rebellious too

But, my friend, there you have it

The makings of a pretty darn good dish

So shut up and eat!

Copyright: CJ

There once was a girl named Jan

Who had a huge crush on her fan

She cried out in pain

Tongue stuck in the bladeNow she prefers dating a man

Ive always

Hated

goodbyes

Always seeming to

Drown me

In a damn of emotions

Opening the floodgates

In my eyes

Flowing down

To the ocean of tears

Built from others like me

Making the water

Sickeningly salty

Before you I was someone with a clear cut plan about what I wanted to do, what I wanted to achieve and how I wanted to go about achieving it. I believed in concepts like "kaizen", about constantly updating and improving oneself. 

But, once I met you  - in my unprepared, progress-in-the-making state, you still accepted me, and said that I was perfect! 

Oh dear, I know you like me just the way I am. That I don't need to change a thing.

With you I can stay this way forever. 

Being with you, I start to think that maybe I don't need to change, maybe this right now is alright, that I am enough the way I am. With you thus, I don't feel like challenging myself or critic myself to see where I can improve.

Dear, you would like to keep me, and I would like to stay with you, but what a disaster it would be for my dreams to take over the world?