Because you think I’m an idiot

Because you think I’m like every other person my age

Because you don’t listen

Because you’re always right

Because I’m always wrong

Because I don’t believe

Because you think I don’t have a mind of my own

Because you’d rather be dead than endure having me as a daughter

Because you say you love me

Because I’m trying to be myself

Because you hate that version of me

Because I’m a girl and wired wrong

Because you hate the things I love

Because I hid until now

Because I’m not doing what you want, but what I do

Because you say I remember things wrong

Because it’s all in my mind

Because you are unflawed

Because you are older, so that makes you wiser

Because all I am to you now,

Is nothing of worth.

I wanna be home

Where ever that maybe.

All I know is it’s where

Everyone I know

Is far, far away from me.

One day, I going to be more than you ever have been.

And you’re still going to tell me all the reasons you’re better.

So in this state,

When I am at such a low,

It’s no wonder you have nothing good to say.

But I will show you one day.

Show you all I am without you.

You will pin my successes to yourself,

To showcase to others as if they are your own.

I hope all those people will be smart enough to know,

You had nothing to do with the greatness I will become except for one part of it.

The strength.

Your clenched grasp on me,

I will escape. And it will make me stronger.

Your negative eyes when you look at me,

I will blind. And it will make me stronger.

Your false pride and arrogant air,

I will breath out. And it will make me stronger.

And for all this, I still will never thank you. Love and respect are must be symbiotic to work. You never had either for me as a person, but only as a projection of you.

Now as I become myself, I have learned you do not truly love or respect anyone. Only the things you like about them. That will never be true love or respect. And for that, you shall not receive either of these things forms me.

You have never deserved it. And you never will.

Your sweet song,

Your beautiful embrace.

Leaving me yearning with your trace.

Though I only know yet one song,

My heart is yours,

And to you I belong.

I've never known

Bliss like this.

Never grown

So quick, so swift.

But passion is fire,

And fire makes energy,

And I will give my every ounce,

Until it is the death of me.

Gripping with your divinity,

Overflowing with waters of infinity,

Life will be long before you die,

And I can witness one moment,

Your beginning as I spy.

I cannot lay without you.

I cannot sit still.

Knowing you are there waiting,

For a song from your trill.

Though I began in latter,

Age does not matter.

For I am obsessed!

And my passion burns brass.

To you I clutch,

Dear Devona.

I shall follow you down,

I shall follow to nowhere.

You are savior.

You are light.

You have saved me

From Never-ending Night.

Gods, I need you. I'm letting my vulnerability show. I have finally admitted it, I am in love with you. It is so strong. I hope you can see it, or that it is at least coming into your view. My you're such an ass, full of immaturity and just here to have fun. And I hate that I love somebody like that. But I crave your stupidity and mindless joy. I see the deeper side too though, even in slim glimpses, I see your passion. You love something we both share. And you love happiness. I watch you smile in attempt to bring it to others. You told me you love making people like me open up, cause you're loud and I'm quiet. At first, I couldn't, not to someone like you. It was worst when I learned how I truly felt when I look into your big, bright eyes. But now I am learning. If I will ever have a chance with you, I must show you myself. If not, you could never fall in love with someone who isn't there. I have to show you how I feel, even though I won't say it. But even that feeling, I can't describe. You make me smile more than I should. Your carefree way makes me want to run in rain. One small touch gives me a thousand sparks, leading me to wonder of further intimacy. Would I burn from your kiss? Would I implode with your arms around me tight? Outside you are a mild warmth, the sun in autumn, the wind still cooling my back as I stand in your soft light. But if you came closer, if your love reflected with mine, how beautifully I'd burn, becoming the moon in your firelight. So long my night has been dark, yet here you've come. But I am still only half-lit. My love is there, but you must love me. I must become a full moon, reflecting in your light, basking in your love. And for that I will wait. I will wait as all the stars die out around me. I will wait until you feel the need for more. I will wait while all around us falls. I will wait for your glorious fire. I will wait until your desire burns as passionate as mine. I will wait for you to see my want of your light. I will wait for you to wish to fill my unlit half. For you, I will wait, I will wait, I will wait. 

I am lonely, but not alone. I have friends, and I have family. What I do not have is someone to hold me, not like the other girls do. Everybody around me has been kissed, held, been told those three precious words. Only once have I had that "someone", yet it wasn't love. Just an act of despair and desperation out of the need of love like the others have. He loved me but I did not love him, a mistake I will never again make. But still, my desperation bleeds through, burning me so harshly as if I were paper drenched in alcohol. I am so strong, but in my need for love, my weakness pours itself out. I know I am beautiful. I know and love who I am and who I wish to be. But perhaps this is what draws them away from me. Perhaps boys want someone whom they need to protect. Maybe they don't enjoy the confidence I have. Or maybe it is simply my quiet nature. Perhaps I am invisible to them. I do not make a show of myself. Though I am not shy, I am reserved. I will never be the loudest voice in the room. I will only speak if I feel the words are truly needed and even then, I am not often heard. Perhaps I am just another body in the crowd, a girl they barely even see the surface of with a just a quick glimpse. Oh, if only the knew how deep my soul goes. Or maybe it is my deep soul causing my wounds from this pathetic need of love. Perhaps no one is willing to dig that deep into my heart, for it would be so long a journey. And it is one no boy is willing to take. Others simply fall in love, but I am one you must learn to love. And learning to love is something I also must do, as I have never had such a beautiful thing. But the world is in a rush nowadays. Who would want to take the time it would to love me? It would be so long and so much. And though I am beautiful, I am invisible. And though I am deep no boy is even willing to look into my eyes long enough, not like they do with the other girls. So perhaps I am simply unseen. Or I am simply too much to take. But I will not change, for I have no desire to. I will wait for somebody to see me in love, someone who will be willing and wanting to take the steps into my strange world and mind. But I am impatient and I am already drowning in the deep longing love has cursed humans with. So perhaps this is simply how it is to be. Perhaps, this is my tragedy.

Do you know what it is to believe and believe,

Only to watch,

As you once again leave?

I hate the fact that together we belong,

And here of late,

We have yet to get along.

We love and love in the wrong,

As I'm dragged behind you,

Always stringing me along.

I don't know why I follow,

Don't know we always attack,

But every time I let go,

Together we go right back.

One moment it's you,

Another it's me,

I'm just hoping this time,

I've let go to finally be free.

We've always ran in circles,

No matter how small or wide,

For nothing could stop us,

Not the largest of tides.

This time I run,

Hoping it's only forward,

For this time the hurt,

Was much more horrid.

And if it is so hard to let go,

Perhaps this, the greatest of pains, proves,

I have finally rid myself of you.