It started with a broken coffee decanter

leading to a trip to the Cuban bakery

down the street for a morning coffee fix

The lights and sounds of a busy street

The smell of fine Cuban cigars and

the sound of old men chitchatting away

The smell of tamales, fresh baked bolillos, pan dulce, and the powerful

aromatic smell of coffee

The smell of Jack

as you pour it into the coffee

The way the world feels slightly more

bearable after the fourth cup

and how it makes the next twelve

hours of work a blur

The quietness and peacefulness

of the world at midnight

A pause heading up to the apartment

The faint sound of a cry for help

The panic and rush that sets in

That gut-wrenching feeling when

you no longer feel a pulse

The weight of a dead corpse

resting in your arms

The taste of blood from biting down

on your lip to hold in the screams

The police lights and never ending questions

The irony and knowing you'll never be a able to step foot into another Cuban bakery

Knowing that come tomorrow

he'll sleep in a coffin six feet under

Knowing you'll sleep in tomb of bottles

filled to the rim tonight

Mask the smell of booze and Camels

with cake-batter and a spritz of Love Spell

Wipe the tears and head up the stairs

The day's smells and sounds grip

around the throat and choke like a noose

Bent down on all fours gasping for air

Lying there on the bathroom floor

starring at the ceiling through

kaleidoscopic tear-filled eyes

You see these things as normal

when you're born into the game

Then you're old enough to

distinguish right from wrong

They didnʼt die by your hand

But they might as well have

Now you're carrying the weight

of murder by association

Thatʼs when you do

everything in your power to

walk away and leave that life behind

Even if it means crossing the

ones you're supposed to love

Though like everything else in life

It comes with a price

You pay your dues

and wash the blood

off your hands in the

backseat of a Cadillac

while the narcs live like kings

Welcome to your new normal

You might as well come out

Because you can't hide

It's coming too fast

The end is nigh

This won't last

This game of yours

Nothing will last

In this game of war

You took a stand

Then you fell

You might as well come out

Or I swear I'll tell

No one survives,

You won't either

Can't you see this is cowardice?

Just stop fighting

Just stop hiding

Just stop being afraid

You can't keep this up

Don't even try

The more you try,

The more I cry

Please stop fighting

Please stop hiding

Please stop being afraid

Please,

I need you

In this game of war

That's the only thing

Of which I'm sure

I need you

The skin still

Stayed intact

But blood spread

Blue and black

A darkening

Cloud of gloom

Storms brewing

In a tomb

The battering

Destroyed inside

Where the bleeding

Still could hide

Betrayal siphoned

Trust away

Hollowed heartbeats

Of yesterday

Forsaken, forsaken

Until at last

The blood flowed down

Rushing fast

Soaked broken ground

Quenched the thirst

With sufferingʼs brew

On gasping earth…

Drunk on blood of broken trust

Don't you wish you would've loved me?

Don't you wish you would've been nicer?

To me and to any other girl who as I 

Loved you 

You gave me a ring on which was transcribed

"Love Conquers Everything"

Turns out that was a lie,

but i still like the damn thing,

so i thought I just might do my own editing after we say goodbye.

Sand down some parts of it

so that it sites

"Conquer Everything"

So I know I'll survive,

it will serve as a reminder,

serves your ass right.

Even if the sky is falling, 

and your world falls apart,

when all hope is absent, 

just breathe. 

nothing is set in cement,

even the cracks in your heart, 

Fortune is only stalling. 

Even if the ground shakes, 

and you find yourself lost, 

always lost never found, 

just breathe. 

Something will come around, 

even if it matters most,

and your heart breaks. 

Even if the wind is blowing, 

knocking you down to the mud,

with no glimpse of the sun, 

just breathe. 

In the end you've had won, 

never mind the blood,

And continue to travel unknowing. 

Even if hell has taken over,

and the demons haunt you at night, 

and you can't close your eyes,

just breathe. 

forgive and look past the lies, 

you'll soon catch a glimpse of the light, 

you will find a four-leaf clover. 

My heart is full of regrets

Of dreams I have not met.

As if time passed me by,

Leaves me to question

Where was I?

Was I was lost in the hustle of surviving?

Was I drowning in sorrow with no chances of reviving?

Did I allow myself to only dream,

As it was unattainable it seemed?

As I take my last few breaths

Waiting for the Angel of Death

I can only ponder of the time lost,and

Dreams forgotten..