The door opens and closes;

no footsteps follow.

No voice or breathing.

Silence.

Someone, no, something

grabbed my hand in theirs.

Clammy yet leathery,

Gray skeletal hands held

mine tight with gold rings 

on each finger.

Then a whisper. 

A beautiful, seductive, raspy

whisper. 

I turn to face it and am shocked.

Sitting next to my bed, 

is a man? A woman? 

I can't tell - there's no face!

A gasp escapes me.

Before I could stop,

I asked, quite rudely:

Why do you have

no face? Your black cloak

can't hide that.

A raspy whisper escapes,

from No Face.

Almost a laugh?

You have not done wrong

so you see no face.

Those who have see

the face

of their greatest victim.

It continues to talk;

in the whisper more,

seductive- no soothing.

How was your life?

Are you satisfied

with what you have done?

Any regrets?

I respond:

Great.

Yes.

Of course.

With each answer I grow

colder yet stronger?

It stares.

Deep into my soul, 

it stares.

One hand moves

and brushes a tear

rolling down my cheek.

You have lived well.

Now come with me.

It is time 

for your next journey.

Where am I going?

I'm not ready.

Please!

Somehow it managed,

to look like it smiled.

We are just walking. 

Come and 

walk with me.

But-

Shhhhhhh.

But I'm scared.

I know. Everyone is

when they meet me.

You had a good life,

so I will treat you well.

Let me show you

your reward.

Come, 

walk with me.

It stood there,

clammy grey hand outstretched.

Gold rings glistening.

Black robes waving gently,

in a nonexistent wind.

And I laid in my bed,

staring at its hand.

Thinking.

Contemplating.

I suddenly get up to walk,

confused at my new

strength. I turn

for one last look.

It stops me and

offers me its arm.

There's no need

to see what is back there.

No need to make yourself sad;

it is no longer your world.

You are ready,

which is why 

you feel as strong as you do.

You'll get more answers,

soon.

Now, let's go for our walk.

Growing up, I knew I was different. I have a 3.5 inch incision starting on my lower chest and ending at the top of my abdomen. I couldn't play sports because I wouldn't die but I would come very close to it. I learned early in my youth that people fear what they don't understand and their fear causes them to do horrible things. So I kept my secret quiet and created a harmless and innocent little world that all kids do. 

Not long after turning 12, everything had changed. I came home from school one bright warm day. I had a snack, did my homework, and then read until mom came home from work. She gave me a forced smile when she came home; it was a smile that was hiding concern, pain and pity? She took a nap until dad got home. Conversation crept up but slowly disappeared so dinner was mostly silence. 

"My teachers gave me a teddy bear with candy today," I remember saying. "What is going on? Every adult is treating my different including you guys. Did someone die? Is someone hurt?" They looked at each other then proceeded to clean the table, dishes, and put away dinner. They sat down across from me and said 2 weeks ago they got a call from my doctors. My battery is running out and I need to get surgery very soon. They had been talking to the school about what to do and what I would need but they were trying to figure out what to say to me.

I cried. I cried because I feared the worse and it was up there with the worst things that could happen but I never thought it would be me. I cried because this is the first surgery of many that I would actively remember. I cried because my world that I created and sold to others would actively be destroyed and I would have serious explaining to do. I cried because I couldn't be a child anymore and I would have to face the condition that will haunt me until the day that I really did die. 

I can't tell you what happened between that talk and the week until my surgery. I just went through the motions, faked laughed and tried not to let others know. I remember saying bye to me my teachers the day before my surgery and most of them said good luck and see you soon. Then it happened and when it did, it happened in flashes. I woke up in the wee morning and vomited. Then I was in the hospital and I remember the strong contradictory smell of sterility and musk. There was the blood work, where I was poked at by several incapable nurses. I was being rolled to the operating room and the cold touch of the operating table still gives me shivers. There was a burning pain from the anesthesia. And then there is a man talking who appeared over my head with bright crystal blue eyes. I could tell he was smiling reassuringly with those blue eyes and then it went black.

My chest was screaming at me telling me to not breathe when I woke up. I look down and a giant gauze pad and tape wrapping my chest and abdomen greeted me. I wanted to cry again but I couldn't. I slept instead. 

I remember waking up at home on the couch. Family had come to visit and they left me balloons and cards. My parents were talking to me and I answered them, robotic like and methodical. Say the right things and do the right things but I was deep in thought.

Who am I now? Now that this gauze is a literal reminder of who I use to be, but I never truly was. Now that I have disappeared from those around me for at least 3 months. Now that the person returning to them will be entirely different. In one week, my identity was shattered. It was shaken. Who am I? 

Overlooking the City of Angels was a group of young men, laughing and eating while lounging around the HOLLYWOOD sign. They came to escape the troubles of school, relationships, and life. The sun set and the stars in the sky were dim compared to the city lights except for one, who was shining bright and proud.

The guys could not have been happier, that is until 10 o’clock hit and they all receive a text from Angel; “SHE HAD THE BABY! COME QUICK!” Upon reading the text, an uncertain silence went over the group. They looked at each other not knowing what to do until one spoke up, “Well, I’m going to go see the baby. I am going to support my friends, whether you all or coming or not.” He got into his little Honda and sped away into the night.

She lived on the outskirts of L.A. in a humble house with her parents so it only took him 30 minutes to arrive at Maria’s house. But by the time he arrived, it seemed as though the whole town was there. He parked the car a street away and jogged lightly to the house. As he knocked on the door he realized he didn’t have a gift for the baby or Maria. As he turned to leave Jose answered the door.

“You made it! I didn’t know if anyone was coming over since Angel sent out a massive group text. Take off your shoes and come on in,” Jose said excitedly. They went inside and Jose pointed to three old and wise looking men. “You know my Uncles Juan, Miguel, and Pedro, right? They came over 3 days ago because they said that there was an unusually bright star in the sky and that it meant my baby was coming. Odd right? Like something out of the Bible.”

“Yeah, I saw the same star out tonight. It was beautiful,” after some silence he spoke up asking the question that has been on his mind, “How are things between you and Maria? I know things have been rocky.”

“Things are looking up. We have our own place and will be moving in soon. I just got the Union trade job in the city and she will be going back to work at the day care once her maternity leave is up. We are planning on getting married next month; which obviously you are coming, right?" He paused to try and contain his excitement. "We named the baby Jesus because he saved us. He made me happier than I ever could imagine and I have truly fallen in love with Maria for bringing him into the world. So yeah, everything will be fine.”

They maneuvered to the living room where there was a little cradle with a beautiful baby boy sleeping soundly. Around him, Maria was organizing some of the gifts: Juan bought him a $100 bond, Miguel bought him some light perfume, and Pedro bought him some baby oil. Jose went to adjust the blanket which caused the baby to wake up. But instead of crying, he just wiggled around smiling. “Simon, come say hi to your Godson.”

He walked over, embarrassed yet again for not having a present. Face beat red he kneeled down and whispered to the little baby Jesus, “I don’t have anything to give but a lullaby from when I was a baby.” He started to sing ‘Arrorro Mi Niño’ and rock the cradle as more people came to see the savior, baby Jesus.