I use to be an open book,

so happy to be read,

able to share my stories,

and the contents of my head,

A gleeful tome was i,

people coming, people going,

sharing the essence of my soul,

with each new visit my stories growing,

Then came unknown strangers,

wearing smiles so divine,

whispering words of love and friendship,

as they tore the paper from my spine,

And new approacher's ceased,

I was sad, I must confess,

as I lay upon the pavement,

feeling the numbing of loneliness,

Left out in the elements,

the frost and wind and rain,

crying tears of ink as I fall apart,

the only stories I know now are pain,

I used to be an open book,

now just a broke and bleeding husk,

unable to find my pages,

not knowing who to trust.

An admiration for the pathless wood,

Its beauty so devine,

Surely I if songbirds could,

Find peace amidst these pines.

A respect for the river,

The patience it demands,

To learn strength from its stones,

And feeling love upon its sands,

Departing from the wild now,

A returning to the fray,

I think not of my new soul now emerging,

But the old, who ventured in and will forever stay.

I lay awake at night,

and into thoughts descend,

struggling through memories,

of foes disguised as friend,

obsessing over the unknown,

of horrors that could impend,

adding to the traumatic disorder,

just another wound that will not mend,

yet what if I'm the monster,

a beast from which I cant defend,

cursed to never escape,

unto my own heart perpetually rend,

my fears begin to flash,

as pains slowly distends,

I've tried to expel this emptiness,

via poems so brokenly penned,

so I lay awake each night,

and with these truths try to forever contend.

The hands of the clock are crooked,

Time slowly falls away,

A never ending battle,

We slip from night to day,

A conflict we cant escape,

A struggle each step we take,

Adrift in a sea of chaos,

From this nightmare we cannot wake,

From rage to calm within,

Cycles of rushing and waiting,

A balance none have mastered,

A duel of loving and hating,

Our morality's source unknown,

How do we so freely forgive our sin,

Yet shy away from our virtues,

As we live in a strangers skin,

A contemptible bunch are we,

Performing both good and evil acts,

Wings of each devil and angel,

Protrude and sprout from our backs,

Waging wars for peace,

Claim to accept yet push and shove,

Battling monsters within ourselves,

We break the hearts we claim to love,

Such disasterpieces are we,

Chiseled, molded and wrought,

Each fighting a battle within us,

That others know of not,

We are selfish acts and good intentions,

We sift through the rubble and ash,

Searching to find our true reflection

Starving for shards of mirrored glass,

Both beautiful devils, and fallen angels,

We always wonder who we are,

Each love on our mind a lesson,

Each memory in our heart a scar,

We still try despite our failures,

We love in spite of past pain,

Hopeless fools braving the storms,

Dying flowers just praying for rain,

Forced smiles hold back tears,

We live in a world of lies,

Some we hear and some we tell,

We change from spiders to flies,

We are damaged and we are flawed,

To friends our promises break,

blinded by self delusions,

We cant accept that some of our pieces are fake,

Heroes and villains, the parts we play,

Stages of destruction and creation,

Wondering if we're doomed to hell,

Or are we worth heavens salvation,

Take stock in the weight of your soul,

Release your secret confessions,

Give your future a second chance,

And forgive your past of its transgressions,

The hourglass lays broken,

Wading through a sandstorm of attrition,

Such helpless fools are we,

Trying to decipher this human condition.

What is the heaven without the hell,

What is the cage without the bars,

What is beauty without the chaos,

What is the lesson without the scars,

What is the friend without the foe,

What is the rainbow without the rain,

What is the devil without the angel,

What is the blood without the stain,

What is perfection without flaws,

What is the fall without the mistake,

What is hate without the caring,

What is the promise without the break,

What is the music without the silence,

What is the diamond without the coal,

What is growth without destruction,

What is salvation without a soul,

What is writing without emotion,

What are these words without a rhyme,

What are our feelings without us,

What is the view without the climb,

What is suffering without the reason,

What is the passion without desire,

What is ignorance without learning,

What is the phoenix without the fire.

What is joy without the apathy,

What are the lies without the trust,

What is a fairy tale without misfortune,

What is the star without the dust,

What is the high without the low,

What is the joy without time to mourn,

What is poetry without a reader,

what is a rose without a thorn,

What is peace without the war,

What are smiles without the sorrow,

What are dreams without nightmares

What is today without tomorrow,

What is bliss without the hardships,

What is adventure without struggle,

What is anarchy without structure,

What is order without the trouble,

What is fate without destiny,

What is impossible without hoping,

What is misery without company,

What is grief without ways of coping,

What is the drug without the numbness,

What is the pain without the memory,

What is the pride without the fall,

What is the sickness without the remedy,

What is whole without missing pieces,

What is seeing without being blind,

What are thoughts without action,

What is the nectar without the rind,

What is broken without the promise,

What is a flower without the weeds,

What is the answer without the question,

What is the want without the need,

What are delusions without the truth,

What is hopeless without a chance,

What is a miracle without the mundane,

What is tragedy without romance.

What is the leap without the faith,

What is suffocation without breath,

What is love without the loss,

What is life without some death,

What are we without each other,

What is the old without the new,

Without you who am I,

Without me who are you,

What is strength without weakness,

What is your worst without your best,

What is forgiveness without betrayal,

What are we without the hearts within our chests.

It was once upon a never after,

a tale unfit for a storybook page,

when during what seemed like an endless night,

the boy would pace in his cage,

through the shadows he crept,

over briers and brambles,

he searched to fix his soul,

to heal its pieces in shambles,

he was a thing with no life,

thus unable to die,

cursed to always fail,

yet doomed to always try,

he would dream of the what was beyond,

the place just past the bars,

until this night he met,

a beautifully stunning star,

she spoke of this life outside,

of adventures he'd yet to see,

of magic in the mundane,

of a place he longed to be,

yet this star had trouble shining,

unbelieving in her own spark,

the boy refuted this claim,

and vowed to fight off her dark,

they would laugh and talk for hours,

with each other countless moments they would spend,

in this the boy found happiness,

with his first and only friend,

the boy who loved the star,

and he thought she loved him back,

but in the truth he found pain,

and his heart began to crack,

and all at once it changed,

the star had left without warning,

and so now the boy cries alone,

tis why we call each new day mourning.

I fought to catch on, as I fight to let go,

I battle the end as I fought for a start,

What I love and lost filled with claw marks,

stuck in a war between my head and my heart,

You made me laugh, made me smile,

Made me feel safe and strong,

If home is where the heart is,

I'm homeless now that you're gone,

My laugh fades to silence,

My smile wanes to a frown,

My tears fall like rain,

And I fear that I might drown,

A head filled with happy memories,

Now painfully play on repeat,

My soul, my will, my mind,

Break more with each heartbeat,

Some say love doesn't hurt,

Others say it what we bear for the cross,

I say love comes from growth,

And pain comes from loss.

An eternal flame within me flickers,

Sparked by a shooting star,

Embers before extinguished,

By tragedies repetoire,

Magic once thought abandoned,

Glimmers with lost light,

Giving breath to a helpless soul,

That had forgotten how to fight,

The candle continues burning,

Regardless the flood of tears,

The heart that keeps on beating,

Raging against the pain and fears,

Be seen despite you scars,

Show you are strange and odd,

Care in spite of your wrongs,

Accept being perfectly flawed,

In action lays the truth,

Words just chaotic glyphs,

Assuming victims life reality,

And our heroes are all but myths,

Demons counting the sins,

Shouting in your head contrite,

Angels with you always,

In both fall and flight,

Distracting ourselves with suicide,

Killing for a way to cope,

Wandering broken in the dark,

Held together by stitches and hope,

Familiar hells below us,

Dreaming of a heaven above,

Remember flaws are not,

If by just one person loved.

Head in the clouds

Hope in a grave,

The lies that I took,

The love that I gave,

The darkness creeps in,

As the ember tires,

Haunted by pasts,

Of the once raging fires,

Eyes bright with passion,

Now just ash and tears,

Swallowing the sadness,

Choking on pains and fears,

We tread the razors edge,

Of nightmares and dreams,

Stuck somewhere between,

These whispers and screams,

Surviving in reverse,

Diamonds turned to coal,

A life spent only dying,

A torn and tattered soul,

Hearts growing colder,

With each deepening cut,

Sealing off feelings,

Like windows painted shut,

Sit reading the epitaph,

On the headstone,

In a crowded room,

You still feel alone,

We try to make due,

We cope for our reasons,

Search for angels in others,

To quell our own demons,

We hate all the lies,

We just want what is true,

Though still wear fake smiles,

Insecurities bleed through,

Finding the distance,

Between wants and needs,

A step or a journey,

Both flowers and weeds,

Sundials in shadows,

Still tell of the times,

Of our paths to walk,

The mountains we must climb,

We need to free ourselves,

From the walls that we contrived,

You're not a dead and broken spirit,

But the pieces that survived.

To the world, you were a weed,

Their looks so bitter sour,

Yet my heart saw something more,

A forever sweet and wild flower,

To the world, you were a worm,

Hanging from threads set to break,

Yet I knew that you would fly,

A butterfly that's yet to wake,

To the world you were coal,

A stone scratched and scuffed,

But inside, I saw you shimmer,

My own diamond in the rough,

To the world, you were a rain cloud,

Your true self they cannot see,

Yet I alone saw your magic,

A beautiful rainbow yet to be,

To the world, you were a spark,

But to me, you were a star,

I love you for your flaws,

You're perfect just the way you are,

They always seen you as nothing,

Around you dark emptiness swirled,

Yet to me you were everything,

You were my light, my love, my world.

I was nothing before I met you,

Your betrayal my lesson learned,

Standing here without you now,

I fear to the nothing I must return.