Dear Everybody,

I don’t like saying goodbye, so I’ll Beatle this and say hello instead.

I’ve never shook your hand before and I’d love to sometime.

Think about it.

We’ve never seen eachother in person but through this medium we’ve

shared and felt and expressed so much emotion. Over time we’ve grown

close, bound by words and phrases we can wear like necklaces for the rest

of time because guys, we’re that good. I’ll miss everyone here and yes, sadly

this is the last time I am leaving. With luck, somebody will publish me. Don’t

know what I’ll write a book on but I know I’ll write about something cause I...

always seem to. Honestly, this website has changed my life. This matters so much

to me, I wouldn’t risk being late to my most important college class if it didn’t.

I need to log out before I started crying and then get another idea to write about.

To everyone here, I love you. Thanks for this just-shy-of-a year. Really some of the best

months of my life. This backpack heart is on to collect more lovely memories.

Your oddball,

Jamie A. ♥

Quick!

Before the keys shake at you.

Before the water rises and the

sunrise grabs your coffee away.

Quick!

Before autumn makes a grand

entrance through the double

doors.

Quick!

Before you can see your face in

the mirror, before you can even

open your eyes.

Remember your dream.

Write it down.

Make a physical copy of it in case

it should get lost.

Then make it happen.

Cold metal on the back of my legs.

Tall trees and a dog that breathes.

Smells that take my mind places.

People that make me think of them

at early hours of the morning.

I don't know how to make points

or explain myself at times, cause as

much as I love them, I really hate words.

Girl beside me.

Cigarette smoke.

Empty street.

Song after song.

Detatched for a

time. Exchange

words with me.

I can't dig any

deeper, I'll never

get out of this ditch.

Is there anywhere that

hearts can go to heal.

Shapes look blurry and

we start laughing cause

the car had been moving

the whole time. It goes

through my mind, how I

have missed all her battles.

I am not the soilder for this

war, and the smell of tobacco

begins to turn my face around.

And you were right.

I didn't run thousands of miles

for a single dollar.

I exhausted myself doing what

I loved. Was that a waste of my

time? No. Because I don't walk

around believing time is money.

This song makes me walk down streets I don’t belong on.

This song takes me back to that night, the one where the

air was dressed in glamour and misery. This song wants me

to call it back. This song is telling me I should check my

bank account. This song is asking me how old I am. This

song is standing next to me on a track, telling me to keep

my toes behind the line. This song is watching me undress.

This song is worrying about my mental health. This song is

holding my hand while I cry in a locker room after school.

This song is telling me I need to stop eating. This song is not

happy with me. This song is talking about me to it’s friends.

This song is sitting with me on a bench. This song is yelling

at me in the car. This song is crying in front of me. This song

is limping down the street. This song is sounding familiar. This

song won’t let me drive. This song hates my guts. This song is

asking me for a favor. This song is playing in the car. This song

is on a loud repeat. This song keeps me from going one hundred

over the bridge. This song is saving me from reality. This song is

not happy I am ready to leave. This song keeps the silverware in

the kitchen. This song is begging me not to skip it. It’s the only

song on the playlist. The playlist is begging me to delete it.

The ramble continues, as a loop, usually I don't know what to do, you have me up late at night, awake all the time, insomniacs probably shouldn't drive, just gonna take a dive, see where it takes me, missing cues lately, trying to concentrate, except for on his face, they tell me I made a big mistake, honestly though, I'm that big mistake. Answer me this, what is family? That's not what we feel like anymore, we feel like jewlery, pretty to wear,

but worn so loosely. I'm afraid to hug you anymore.

I thought this was over.

Convinced I was just leaving.

Back in my room feeling hopeless.

Your voice on repeat.

This is how you go crazy.

Maybe, are you serious?

Maybe, just delirious.

Ten days. It’s ahead of me.

Nine days, time, we got plenty.

Talking to strangers, that’s what I’m up to.

Trouble is sitting right next to me.

Could of been gone for a century, look I

found part of the inner knee.

I don’t understand when you speak.

He dosen’t like pizza, I MEAN?

I don’t understand when you speak.

People from different countries, every week.

What are you saying to me.

Sorta sounded like you want me to

talk with you about kerth patrol. No

I don’t think so. It’s my body, sorry

about it. Yes, they’re from Lebanon,

oh my god, why are you asking me so

many questions. When will you stop

asking so many questions. No I’m not

doing that. Stop trying to side with Dad.

Please take a fucking step back. Like please

take a fucking step back. I could give one if

he’s coming back. It’s not only me, she saw you,

she called you crazy too. Your voice on repeat.

This is how you go crazy. Mom’s talking, are you

listening, Jamie? What was that, sorry, over here

raising a baby. Nah, that wouldn’t happen. Not

with my kin. More likely I go to prison. Cause

I did shit just to feel somethin. To restart the

engine. This car is dyin. Just let me out of this

house, I’m gonna lose it.

This is how you go crazy.

Are you listening, Jamie?

Are you functioning lately?

No, I’m busy waiting.

I told you, don’t call me a lady.

Ten days.

Ten ways I could end up driving

you crazy. Don’t call me a lady.

Ten days.

Ten ways.

Don't get in mine.