My soul is made of glitter and gold

(dust and gray)

smiles and happiness

(tears and pain)

My soul is made of honesty, not lies

(both at all the wrong times)

trust and forgiveness

(fear, anger, resentment)

My soul is hopeful and full

(My soul is empty)

(Is it really there?)

I am equivalent to infinity

The sum of all these parts of me

Added up from an early age

Multiplied by every last written page

Subtracted by my loss of control

Divided by the glory & grime of my soul

Calculate all that I’ve loved & I’ve lost

The formula that displays the lines I have crossed

Deduct the misuse of my precious time

Enumerate the flaws within my design

A fraction for every last beat of my heart

Deviated from the memories that pull me apart

These are the variables that make me real

An infinite self that cannot be concealed

And it would be so different if I could bend the rules. If I could decipher the limits that steer me away. If I could examine the variables that shape those boundaries. There would be no point left for this sadness. The sun would rise and it would fall the way that it was meant to. I’d be standing there with my eyes wide open. I’d be taking in every moment of my own experience. But I’m afraid that I cannot change these facts.. and I’m terrified that I cannot undo what has been done. I’m trying so hard, and I know that it’s too much. I’m fading so fast, and I know that it’s not enough.

Maybe.. somehow things will all work out.

All I have left is my faith at this point anyway..