He left me mid-sentence

During an unfinished thought

And just at the break of

A fragmented sentence

It happened in a brainstorm

Ideas: never fully conceived

But they escaped on his gasp

And he collected their letters

Now asleep in my nightmares

As I watched them tumble --

The unspoken words

Drafted rough on his exhale

Abandoned between syllables

Where his words spilt in two

And just like my heart --

They were erased too soon.

You can only fold a paper

seven times they say,

but I must have read your letter

a thousand times a day,

until I finally realized

the ink had dried away.

It bled into my hands

and ate away my soul,

until I cried black

and fell into a hole.

The abyss was vast and deep

the feelings began to creep,

until I remembered why

I chose to let you die.

And as I write the letter

the words they come out pink

for only assassin’s blood

can be used for contract ink.

Shall I compare thee to a tinder date?

Thou art more classy than those little hoes.

Shut them down and they'll have to masturbate,

But swipe ye left and I may never know.

Sometime too many selfies does one take,

Lack of literature adorn the shelves;

Instagram, Facebook, all socially fake,

Minds go numb; all too taken with ourselves.

But thy beauty and splendor is always,

In my minds eye, merely mention your name.

Too good for lips of guys who never stay.

How I go without you knowing the shame.

So long as you post, or you snap, or tweet,

So long live I to worship at your feet.

Early in the morning

Later in the evening

Something in between

Oatmeal, honey, and cream

Or maybe a little tangerine

Sandwich, salad, and soup

Or veggies, beans, and rice

With just enough spice

Oh yes, that'll be nice!

Dinner has arrived

Time is running thin

What shall I make?

Stuffed peppers, pilaf, taco bake?

Lentil loaf with a cauliflower steak?

Hours before bed

My taste buds long for sweet

Hello dessert, we finally meet

Ice cream sundae, you make me weak!

Swimming in my dreams of you

Never let me wake

I need your touch

No one needs to know

Let's get away to a secret place

As you brush your fingers across my waist

Chills of delight rush up my spine

You make me melt with words

All deliciously Devine

Let me devour your strong being

Secrets stay silently behind as we cross the line

I can give you more than you have

Dive into me my love

let me show you

We are meant to be

Come pour your passion

All over me

In these dark streets we meet

Let me give you what you desperately seek

As Sidney sat on the balcony of her city apartment, she looked out at all the city lights.

Already drunk pass the point of the spins, she lit a joint, inhaling so hard she swallowed the smoke. Her mind is spinning from cheap alcohol and scrappy weed, but the feeling of self disgust was riding her hard.

Sidney knew she was a failure in this crazy world, now all she could think about was ending her life.

"I need to feel free again. Fuck this world!" She screamed her loudest at the crowd below.

All the people walking on the sidewalk stopped and looked up.

She didn't care, she just yelled again, "What? Just keep fucking walking back to your perfect little lives!"

"Today is the day I'm ending my battle of sadness and hurt. This deepening war inside me ends tonight. Who the hell would care?

Nobody that's fucking who!" Sidney yelled at herself inside her head.

Then it hit her, her best friend might be the only person in this world who might care.

She knew what she had to do, it's time to leave this all behind but she just needed to say goodbye to her friend.

Janet her best friend had stuck by through her shit life every step of the way, since they were little girls.

"I have to give her one last hug, and a thank you.

I owe her that much."

Sidney grabbed her black faux leather jacket which wreaked like pot and cheap wine that she had spilled on it the night before. She drenched it in expensive perfume hoping her friend wouldn't smell her depressive state and start all the questions again.

Sidney started down the five flight of stairs practically falling over but she had to do this. It took awhile to walk only four blocks down the road to the restaurant Janet worked at.

As soon as Sidney arrived she stood and watched her friend through the window for a few minute. She was going to miss her and Sidney knew Janet will soon hate her after tonight.

Then, Sidney noticed a handsome guy looking at her, probably thinking she a freak for just standing here, so Sidney though she better walk in.

janet came running up to her right away, giving Sidney a big hug.

"Hey girl what are you doing here?" Knowing now she got what she came for, Sidney told Janet she loved her and thanked her for all she had done for her. They talked for almost a hour since Janet was on her dinner break. They laughed, smiled and cried of coarse, knowing she will never see her best again after this. 

Sidney thought to herself, she needed to go and get this over with before her guilt talked her out of it. Sidney gave her best friend one last hug and She headed towards the door. As she reached up her hand to grab the handle, the door quickly opened for her. Sidney looked over with tears in her eyes. It was the same guy who was staring at her through the window.

The way he opened the door for her was odd and with a smile in his eyes. It was almost like he

was saying " Where the hell have you been my whole life?"

Sidney couldn't help but wonder who he was and fuck where the hell as he been her whole life?

With to much on her mind to really give this guy another thought, she walked outside and started back home. As the cold wind blew through her hair, thrashing it up into a whirl wind, Sidney grabbed her wild wind blown hair and twisted it to the side so she could hang on to it. She looked back before crossing the street and their eyes meet once again. He was now standing outside and smiling at her as he watched Sidney fighting with her hair against the damn wind. She laughed back and started walking again. As she was just about to turn the corner, Sidney heard someone yelling, " Hey, wait up!" It was him again. The mysterious stranger and this time she noticed he had a smile of a god damn Saint! He was gorgeous!

Sidney stopped and waited for him, "Hi, I'm sorry to bother you but I just needed to know your name. I have been watching you since you were standing outside the restaurant and you are definitely a character!" He said grinning in amusement. She didn't know how to feel about that remark. I'm a character? What the fuck does that mean? I'm not a nut show! She thought to herself, even though she almost yelled it at him, Sidney told him her name and then he explained why he was so intrigued with her so much.

" Your simply beautiful with a light all your own, like your walking through a sitcom show or some shit like that. I watched you laugh and cry. I notice you look sad and upset but your eyes sparkle at the same time of love and hope. You have a light inside you don't you know that? I'm sorry I guess It's hard to explain, but your worth watching, every damn minute!"

Sidney was shocked to say the least. All she could say back was,

" Well, thank you I guess, But I don't have a light inside me anymore. It's burnt out and that's exactly how I feel."

"I beg to differ my darling, do you mind if I walk you home?" He asked me with a twinkle in his hazel eyes beaming from the reflection of the neon Chinese Food sign.

Sure I guess but to be honest I have plans and I really rather be alone." Maybe just a couple of blocks?" He asked as he started to walk.

I guess I have no choice.

They talked about things but nothing to important. He was very funny and smart. Sidney couldn't believe this man actually had her laughing. He had this colorful way of expression when he talked. Sidney was starting to become mesmerized.

Next she knew they were standing at the front door.

"Will you be willing to go to breakfast with me tomorrow? I promise you will have a great time. Then maybe we can catch a show after."

She really didn't know what to say, only sidney knew her plans. As soon as she would go inside her life is over with. " I'm done with all this strife." Sidney thought to herself, but She just stood there.

"Please, just promise me. Promise me right now." He kept repeating it as if he knew what she was about to do.

Finally she gave in and promised.

He looked relieved and content at that moment.

Then he grabbed both her hands and pulled Sidney to hug him. He whispered in her ear, " I know your soul and you never break promises do you?" He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. "Do you?" He repeated.

He was right, She had never broken a promise.

"No I don't break my promises. To many people in my life have hurt me with broken promises. I refuse to be that way."

"Good, then I will see first thing in the morning. Trust me Sidney, you won't regret it."

They said goodnight and Sidney walked inside.

Sidney couldn't believe how much of an impact this man had on her.

"What just happened tonight?" She asked herself

"Today, I was going to give up and end my life, instead I began to feel alive."

All because of a stranger and a promise I couldn't break. Sidney realized she never even asked him his name, but she didn't even care.

She laid down to go to sleep with the biggest smile on her face. Excited on what tomorrow would bring with this new wonderful handsome stranger.

I'm better off now

I made a choice to move on

No regrets

There's no going backwards

With my head out of the cotton Candy clouds

It's all to clear

I truly now see

For when it came to you and me

I was always left feeling like

Your daily habit.

I'm not Alice!

I'm done chasing you,

Your no white rabbit!

Her eyes of wonder, getting lost when life decends into the thick black mist.

As the ugly persists, beauty happens.  

White now sits on the tips of the greens.

Yet, sitting in the midst of it all,

Better days are weighing heavy on her mind.  

They say time will stand still. 

How do you know,

what moment that is and when will it be?

Is it recognizable?

When time truly stands still, 

Fate says,

"She will know."

Nothing else will matter,

Literally. 

Holding her breath, 

Never inhaling, 

Always exhaling what comes her way.

Expressing the shit through her lungs.

Now, left on repeat in her mind, is his voice and hers tangled vocally together. 

Now, all she wants to do is inhale.... Him in... 

Trapped inside myself

Overwhelming currents

Of emotional distraught

Piercing thoughts 

I need a jagged knife 

Slice my way out of this

Tormented skin 

Struggling to free myself out of

This suffocating prison 

With every ounce of strength

I begin to push my way out

I get a glimpse of the light

It's now in my sight

I just can't seem to reach it 

I keep trying to escape my

Torturing thoughts 

This trapped terrifying hell is fucking real 

Begging for this torment to end

So the wounds can scab over and finally heal 

Can you hear me shout 

Will you cut me out 

Stretching these thin walls inside

My mind and body 

Dangerously lacking oxygen

Sights become blurred 

I'm going blind 

While losing my sanity

I'm gasping 

Im fighting to think and breathe freely...