conclusion is a word to describe the grand finale but I can feel

as this all winds down

the world building

energy coiling

preparing to recommence

reinvent

recollect

I am regaining a sense of stress the sort that comes with the creation of grace

puppet strings spring from my joints but they lay tangled around my feet more a hindrance than a method of control

the lines were cut long ago

my hinges are twisted and turned over in my metal palm

too broken to be bionic I have been holding my breath for centuries and the relentless expansion of my lungs

followed by their shrinking in the sun

shriveling despite my clenched teeth and bubble gum cheeks

my complexion has never even approached the coveted blue of suffocation

and I have watched women with nothing but water without a sign of starvation

survival surpasses satisfaction despite deep rooted instincts

it takes a certain sort of person to burn out their tires on a dirt road

but if your breaks can't handle the loads packed ever heavy atop your shoulders you'll have to trudge on with sturdy boots and steadfast disposition

drop-kick the pistons saying you'll miss them and wear the engine round your wrist to tell the time by the sun-shine-sweat of your arm

grease is a god-send when you're warding off demons drenched in sea salt wishing for a home in your tear ducts

transitions have never been easy for me

I've always watched the rear view for fear of forgetting how I got here

I've always been more afraid of forgetting the nightmare than falling asleep, because at least you learned there's no difference between flying and falling as long as you never reach the ground

I have abandoned all hope of happiness

Surgically removed by your razor tongue

Leaving me hollow and empty

Void of sunshine

Drenched in the coldness of gray

Wrapping me in solitude

So tightly, I can't move

Legs give way

Under the worlds weight

Pulling me further into its depths

Unable to escape

AS I SCREAM MYSELF TO SLEEP,

i try to think of the days when my skies weren't so gray.

YOU SAID YOU'D COME

and make the pain go away,

BUT I GUESS THAT YOU WERE LYING

cause you left the next day.

PLEASE COME BACK HOME

i'm all alone 'cept for daddy

AND HIS HANDS LIKE TO ROAM.

i need you here mommy,

I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE I CAN STAND.

i'm worried that it'll soon be worse

THAN ONLY HIS HANDS.

i'm just so small compared to him

AND HE KNOWS IT TOO.

now i'm just left here wondering

IF HE DID THIS TO YOU.

he tells me that its all right

THAT ITS NO CAUSE FOR WORRY

but i don't understand how it couldn't be

CAUSE MY TEARS ALWAYS ARE MAKING MY SIGHT BLURRY.

i can't tell my friends cause he says

THAT THEY'LL JUST CALL ME NAMES.

i don't wanna be known as any of those things...

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M THE ONE TO BLAME.

please come back mommy...

Sunlight's seeping from the room again

I'm about to be plunged into darkness again

Soon I'll be left alone with my thoughts again

Finally fighting off my demons again

As I struggle to hold on to the light again

I stare blankly at the wall again

While a storm rages in my head again

I don't know if I'll make it out again

My hope has been shattered.

Will you help me mend it?

It's been so long,

and I miss feeling happy.

My joy has been scattered.

Will you help me find it?

I'll sing this song,

and maybe you will listen.

My love has been stolen.

Will you come to save me?

My eyes can't see,

and I can't shake this feeling.

My heart has been swollen.

Will you come to fix me?

My heart can't beat,

and I know that I'm dying.

I stand, alone.

Waiting, watching

Consumed, by the fog.

As the voices, whisper

"Come, come, over here.

We won't hurt you.

We promise, dear."

Taunts, of the imaginary,

Living, in my mind.

As time, steals memories,

One second, at a time.