thoughts when i binge eat
sometimes i eat my worries away -
wrappers on the floor collect pools of tears
calorie-counting is out the window
an accumulation of chaotic fears
flashes of salty snacks in hand
blurs of yellow, red, white
lost of grace, i stuff my face
losing logical, helpful sight
and i sit in a puddle
plopped on the ground
like a worthless blob of dough
settling, melting without a sound
but i chuckle to myself
to break down shameful silence
at the tastes on my tongue
at my food-filled blindness
and i imagine shadowed parents
looking down at me in shame
i gather reasoning in my head
but there's no one else to blame
except maybe my lack of friends
lack of trust i have for others
piling homework in the corner
no one i love to smother
and so i smother myself with food
don't know whether to feel upset or better
but i promise myself i will try harder tomorrow
and i button up my sweater
back into the world where i hide myself
where i dress for everyone else,
where i eat for everyone else,
where i smile for everyone else
and i search for control
in an uncontrollable public reality
i head back to my humble home
i control what i eat, and i feel free
Runaway Bride
Packing up my white dress I leave behind all bad memories
Running towards you with a promise to create new ones
Obstacles will cease to exist when I am in your arms
Surviving with out you is not a joke for I will die if you are not by my side
Eternity will be ours, now all we need is our unconditional Love.
More than one.
I am an Introvert;
recharging best in solitude,
exhausting most when socializing,
yet I still prefer we over just me.
We can discuss things I didn't know.
We can carry two different ends of a long table.
We can feel-think-and-move independently of each other.
We is better than just me.
With just me and no you to make we,
I am a tree in the forest falling unheard,
nothing more than a proverbial sight unseen,
the very definition of a nobody.
With we there's us and infinite possibilities.
| another_proser |