Anxieties Hands
I have a hand that lives around my heart.
I feel it there. My heart resting in its calloused Palm.
Careful now. Don't breath in too deep. Not wanting the knuckles to press into the wrong side of my chest.
The hand likes to squeeze my heart. I feel where each finger contracts into the resistants.
My heart beats faster, my breath more ragged. My vision blurred, my pulse racing. A cold sweat forms and the walls begin to shrink in.
I wait for the hands to finish their fun. Until it wants to play again.
anxiety
she breathed deeply
mediating in silent thought
wondering why the room
was suddenly getting hot
she rose to fetch some water
and when she returned
her feet alighted on the floorboards
and she began to burn
boiling in her toes
the heat began to rise
and as it reached her knobby knees
she cried out in surprise
the room began too shake and spin
all she wanted was a way out
but the air was growing thin
so she couldn’t scream or shout
not a single soul could save her
she was trapped inside herself
a whole crowd stood around her
but nobody cold help
Something Honest
A relationship with an addict is allowing the most meaningful moments of your life be consumed by someone else's darkness.....remember, you do not owe it to them to save them. it's not your responsibility to battle their demons. Love them enough and mostly yourself enough to let go and be happy for you and no longer allow them to use you as there security blanket in whatever way.
Hollywood. Murder. Dinner.
It was just after midnight. I still had some food stamps. Across Sunset I walked around the wholesale food warehouse and bought some chicken Alfredo and some fries. I had the groceries in my hand, walking toward two Mexicans out in the parking lot. They were standing in front of a long green car arguing in Spanish. I walked toward the gate. They were getting loud with each other. I watched them as I walked. One started chasing the other around the car and they both stopped on either side of the hood, throwing their hands up and screaming. Then one pulled out a gun and shot the other in the stomach. He fell straight over the hood without a sound and died. The other guy looked around. No cars stopped. A few women screamed in the distance behind me. No one came out of the warehouse. He pushed the body off the car and jumped in. He was coming up behind me. I walked a straight line. I wouldn’t look at him. He went around me full speed and jumped perfectly into the flow of traffic on Western. He had the light and he shot through. I still remember the number on his plates.
I waited to cross Sunset. Over in the parking lot people were gathering around the body. I got the light and walked. A group of tenants were at the corner looking across to the lot. They were talking fast. When I got close they nodded at me.
“What-happened, what-happened?”
“I don’t know.”
I rounded my corner, and the sirens were coming up Sunset. Back at the apartment I threw the chicken and fries in the oven and uncorked the bottle of wine with an inch left in the bottom. I downed it and sat in the living room. It had been horrible. What could be so important that a man had to die? Then I thought about it. Plenty. That guy could have raped the shooter’s daughter or fucked his wife or even killed someone he knew. Most likely the gunman was burned over drugs. And the neighborhood had something to talk about again. They wouldn’t give each other the time, otherwise. I grew bitter waiting for my food. Nature breaks down animals in the food chain and nature gave humans murder for their own eradication. I had a nice dinner.
Sell Out
I'm conflicted between right and wrong
Left sided politics and conservative religion--- Bipartisanship
No one makes decisions.
I'm tryna break through capitalism
In meetings at fancy dinners
Ain't that a contradiction?
Should I run for congress
Or a dream of being famous
A human, dehumanized by critics
It's all the same based on your intentions.
Terrorist of my own mind
To blown up all my limits
The skies see no ceilings
Between a thousand and a million
Between an ego and my feelings
Between the truth and a gimmick
Just to live the "American Dream"
I can sell out right now...
I can sell out right now
#movementbe